Chapter 8 Supression

Elias POV

The hall went quiet after Ronan left, but the silence didn’t calm me. It never did. Every creak of the wooden floor and every faint buzz from the academy systems reminded me of one thing, I was alone. I had only myself.

My chest tightened. Not just from training. From him. From the way Ronan had looked at me.

He had watched me closely, like he was trying to read through my skin. Measure me. Break me.

But he hadn’t.

I shifted my stance and tightened my grip on the wooden sword. Slow. Controlled. Careful.

Even though every part of me wanted to lose control and swing with full strength just to feel something real.

My hand twitched.

My jaw hurt from clenching. Beneath the surface, the suppressor chip pulsed again, sharp, deep, and constant. It felt like something chewing slowly inside my skull.

I forced myself to think of my mum.

Rain hitting stone. Her quiet voice. Her hands holding mine when I was younger and couldn’t control anything. I could almost hear her now.

Breathe, Elias. Steady yourself. Control keeps you alive.

“Steady,” I whispered under my breath. “Control.”

I moved first. The strike was automatic. Pain shot through my arm immediately. I swung again. Another pulse from the chip.

My knees almost gave out.

I sucked in a breath and forced myself upright. Every movement had to stay clean. Precise. If I lost focus for even a second, the chip would punish me for it.

It pulsed again. Suppression.

Not just physical pain. It dragged at my mind too. Pulled up memories I kept buried, mistakes, fear, loss… my mother.

Then the scent hit me. It was faint, tempting and dangerous. Pheromones.

My stomach twisted. My grip tightened on the sword. My body reacted before my mind could stop it. The air still carried the memory of him. Ronan. His presence lingered like heat on my skin.

My hands shook. Just slightly. Enough to annoy me.

“No,” I muttered into the empty hall. “Not now. Not… him.”

I turned too fast and nearly lost my balance, stepping back to avoid a strike that didn’t exist. Pain shot up my arm as the chip pulsed harder, like it was warning me.

Release.  Lose control. Submit.

I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to taste blood.

Everything in me wanted to drop the sword and collapse. Just let the pain end. Let the chip take over. Let it win.

But my mother’s voice rose in my head again. Clear. Firm.

Control, Elias. Always control.

I forced myself to stay upright. I twisted again, dodging nothing, fighting everything. My vision blurred for a second. Then I heard it…

The door behind me creaked.

Moonlight shifted across the floor. Shadows moved. For one second, I imagined Ronan walking back in. Watching me. Seeing everything.

My chest burned. My knees trembled. The pull toward him tightened again, sharp and confusing.

I had to get out.

I reached the doorframe and grabbed it, breathing hard. Each heartbeat slammed against the chip in my chest. Anger. Fear. Something else I refused to name.

The pheromones still hung in the air. Teasing. Pulling at instincts I had buried for years.

It made my skin feel too tight. I shut my eyes for a second and pictured my mother again. Her hands guiding mine. Correcting my stance. Calm. Patient.

If she were here, she would know what to say.

My breathing slowed a little. Not enough. The chip pulsed again, reminding me it wasn’t finished.

A sharp pain tore through my ribs. I collapsed.

My knees hit the floor hard. Air left my lungs in a broken sound. The chip surged violently, pushing against every bit of control I had left. My body shook without permission.

Then I smelled it again. Cedar. Warmth. Musk. Not my mother. Him. Or maybe just the memory of him.

It mixed with the pheromones and hit me like a wave. My body reacted instantly, moving before I allowed it to. Wanting to go toward the scent. Toward him.

I clenched my teeth and forced myself backward instead, dragging myself across the floor until my back hit the wall.

“No… no…”

Pain and heat twisted together inside me. Memory. Instinct. Desire. All fighting for control.

I forced myself to stand. My hands pressed hard against the wall until my vision steadied. I needed distance. Air. Space.

The hall stretched endlessly ahead. Empty. Dark. My legs shook as I started toward the exit. If Ronan came back now…

If Kael showed up…

I wouldn’t survive it.

I pushed the door open and stumbled into the night.

Cold air hit my face, sharp and clean. For a moment, relief washed through me. Then panic followed right behind it.

I kept moving.

The heavy scent inside the hall faded, replaced by stone and night air. My muscles screamed, but I forced myself to run. Slow enough not to draw attention. Fast enough to disappear.

Still, I felt it. His gaze.

Even without turning around, I could almost feel Ronan watching me. The memory of his eyes stayed in my head. Calm. Strong. Curious.

It made my chest ache in a way I didn’t want to understand.

I shook my head hard. “No. Don’t start.”

I just needed distance. From him. From the chip. From everything.

Above me, a glow blinked from the observation deck. Holo‑screens flickered.

Someone was watching.

Instructor Noir.

He didn’t need to speak. He always saw more than he said. I could almost hear his quiet voice.

So it’s true.

He had seen my collapse. My weakness. The chip. Everything.

I kept moving into the darkness, letting the shadows hide me. My pulse was still racing, but I didn’t stop. Every step hurt. Every breath burned.

I wasn’t free. Not really. But for a moment, I had space. And in that small space, I held onto my mother’s voice… her hands… and the last thread of control I had left.

For now.