Chapter 59

Rachel POV

Bella & Rachel's Apartment - Rachel's Bedroom

"Nathan Lewis wants to take you into Moonglow territory. Is that his idea or yours?"

I blinked as I processed what Tyler was saying at the same time I tried to take in how he was saying it.

"Tyler, are you drunk?"

Liquor could affect werewolves the same as humans, but it took a lot more to intoxicate one of our kind than a human. I had fallen asleep only an hour ago according to the clock on my bedside table. Was the thought of Nathan being my escort enough to drive Tyler into a bottle?

"Yes. Did you ask him to take you? Or did he offer?"

I turned the lamp on as I sat up in bed, making myself as comfortable as I could against the headboard. My stomach felt bigger than ever as the sheets bunched at my waist; I wondered when I would begin to gain too much weight to fit into my clothes.

Neither of those Alphas were going to want me when I was fat, were they?

"I asked. Why are you drinking?"

"My father told me he's matchmaking for our daughter and she isn't even here. Another Alpha wants to take you away from me. I might be crippled like William. Work is taking up all my time with one contract negotiation after another. I've got a lot of reasons to drink. Were you sleeping?"

Tyler had never discussed his worries with me. I found myself oddly charmed by his honesty.

"Yes. I'm glad you woke me though. If you were here, I'd rub your temples to help with the stress. Would you like to talk some more? I'd like to help if I can."

A sigh echoed across the line tinged with a weariness too rich in detail to be fake.

I doubted Tyler would remember all the details of this conversation tomorrow; I was grateful for his momentary weakness because it gave me a chance to feel strong.

"I don't know what to say. If I keep on, I'll be no better than a sniveling pup."

"Talking to me about your worries isn't the same as 'sniveling.' That kind of attitude is why I felt so alone even when we were in the same house."

Neither of us could pretend we had tried to communicate with one another freely. Secrets had built walls between us thicker than those surrounded Troy. I knew now we had to talk to each other or we would never be able to live together again.

Trying to appeal to his humanity, I asked, "Don't you want to be able to share the burden sometimes? I know I get tired of trying to do it all myself."

"You have Bella," Tyler pointed out, "And her mate and fucking Nathan Lewis. I don't trust him either. Not completely. Do you?"

"You have Adam. Is he enough to beat the loneliness back for you? I watch Bella with Jack -that's his name since you apparently forgot- and they have something so much more than friendship. They make me feel more alone."

I could hear rustling on the other side of the line as if Tyler were getting into bed. Fabric sounds whispered into my ear and I imagined him in nothing more than boxers as he always slept.

Memories of his body made me feel far from lonely.

"Adam tries to help. He does the best he can. I know what you mean though. I've seen fated mates together and wondered why I never got what they have."

The night felt too full of magic for sadness.

"Are you in bed now?"

"Yes. Why? Do you miss me being in bed with you? I miss you being here in mine with me."

Tyler was home in the bed we had shared for years and, for the first time since I'd left, I found I wished I were there, too. I knew how the sheets would feel against my skin. I knew the exact temperature of the room. I could even feel the phantom heat which came off his body as he slept close beside me yet miles away at the same time.

I scooted down in the bed to make myself more comfortable, saying, "Yes. I miss being there with you. Right now? I wish I could touch you. More than anything I just want to touch you."

We breathed at our own pace on our own sides of the phone connection. The sounds of fabric rustling as we shifted around in our beds were the only noises to break up our quiet. I didn't want to say anything in case I brought out the anger in Tyler I knew he used to hide behind.

I just wanted to feel close to him for a while.

"I want you to touch me, too. How would you do it? Where would you touch me? If you were here," Tyler asked, prodding me for details as if he needed to hear the words almost as much as I wanted to say them.

"I'd put my hand on your arm first."

I could imagine it so clearly my fingertips tingled. His skin would be hotter than mine because he always ran a little hotter as an Alpha male. I had liked to think it was Wynd, straining inside him with his desire to break free so he could reach Rayne inside me.

"Then?"

"I'd wait to see if you shrugged my hand off. If you let me touch you, I'd know it was safe to move closer. I learned to test your mood first. There was always so much space between us in that bed. If you didn't want me to touch you, you'd knock my hand away and I'd feel like a silly child being sent back to bed after a bad dream."

"I don't think I make you feel like a child. Do you feel like a child right now, Rachel? There's no little girl in the sound of your voice as you whisper in my ear."

My face flushed and I felt the heat spread from my cheeks down my throat and over the top of my chest. I pushed the sheets away from me to feel the air conditioning on my skin. My sleep shirt felt too rough against my sensitive nipples; I was glad Tyler couldn't see the effect he was having on me.

"If you were here, I'd move closer. Lay my head on your chest. Listen to the beat of your heart."

I could feel his muscular chest beneath my cheek if I closed my eyes so I did, letting myself sink into the fantasy.

"It's beating faster. For you. I'm hard. Can you imagine that? Me, hard for you?"

His heart would be pounding with the force of his blood rushing through his veins. The sound of it would be strong, reliable and solid the way the marble floor of our home felt beneath my feet except there was nothing cold about Tyler.

Every inch of him was hot.

"Yes," I whispered, giving in to the sudden desire to touch my breast, pinch my nipple lightly and roll it between my fingers, "I can feel you. I think about you and I'm ready. Always. Can you feel me? Wet and ready?"

"I can. I can smell you, too. Your scent rises over us like steam from water hot enough to boil. You set me on fire, Rachel. I think my blood could boil in my veins for you. Goddess of the Moon, I want to sink inside you more than I want my next breath."

My breath shuddered out as I moved my hand down my body, under my sleep shirt, inside my panties to tease myself between my thighs. My fingertips slipped over my wet flesh and I couldn't hold back a whimper of need.

"Are you touching yourself? Are your fingers dancing over your clit while you wish it was me?"

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes," I chanted, rubbing myself faster, "Touch yourself, too? Stroke hard. Squeeze tight. If I was there? I'd take you in my mouth so I could taste you."

"I'd let you have a taste, but I wouldn't let you have more than a minute or two. I want you too much. I'd need to be inside you. Where you're warm and wet. You're always so fucking tight. How are you still so tight? Like you were sculpted especially to fit me."

I swallowed down a scream, desperate not to be too loud and attract attention from Bella. My fingers weren't nearly enough as I pushed them inside my pussy. I couldn't come close to how Tyler felt as he filled me completely, crashing into me over and over as relentless as the ocean on the shore.

"I can feel you. Inside me. Fucking me. I want it. I want you. Tyler!"

He groaned as the sounds of flesh moving over flesh flowed between us.

I squeezed my eyes shut, letting the phone fall beside my face as I used both hands on my body while thinking of Tyler doing the same.

My orgasm shook me hard enough to rock the bed, drove the air out of my lungs, burst starlight behind my eyes so bright my eyelids flew open.

"Tyler!"

I heard him finish and craved the feel of his scalding spunk on my skin. I'd have let him come on me, in me, over me. Whatever he wanted. I wanted to give him everything in that moment and I gave a shaky laugh as we settled down in our lonely beds.

"Thanks for taking my mind off---everything. Sleep well, Rachel. Dream of me?"

Tyler didn't sound drunk at all now. I wanted to say I would be glad to have him escort me to see Moonglow, but I didn't want to ruin the mood more.

"I will. Goodnight, Tyler. Sleep tight."

Would I ever feel his hands on me again? How could I possibly live the rest of my life without sharing Tyler Wright's bed again?