Chapter 53

Tyler POV

Te Amo Ristorante

"Is water fine with you?"

Rachel preferred white wine to red; I had never figured out if her preference was because she genuinely favored the taste of white or she wanted to spite me as red was my favorite. Since she was pregnant, I couldn't rely on a glass of wine to distract us before our meal arrived.

"Yes, water is great. Sparkling? Do you have sparkling?"

I wasn't sure where the hesitance was coming from with her, but she spoke with a quiet murmur I found I couldn't stop craving.

If I had been dealing with Wynd, I would have blamed my wolf for the need to assert my dominance. Alpha tendencies could cause aggressive behavior at any time. I often felt the need to dominate others even if no one was challenging me.

Wynd slept completely silent inside me though so all my cravings were my own for the first time since before I shifted.

I waited on the waiter to return with our sparkling waters before I dismissed them. We could peruse the menu together. Rachel loved pasta almost as much as she loved her brother. I knew she'd want a few minutes to decide on her meal.

"If you'd like, we can order several dishes and you can take the remainders home?"

Perhaps it was a primal urge which prompted me to want to feed my pregnant mate. I wasn't sure why I enjoyed this moment more than any other we'd shared, but I did. The idea of sending Rachel home with days worth of food she'd shared with me was more intoxicating than any wine.

"I can feed myself, you know? You should be able to tell I've not been skipping any meals."

A hint of vulnerability peaked out of her self-deprecating remark. I wanted to reassure her she had never been more beautiful, but was I allowed to compliment her looks? She hadn't seemed to mind when I'd looked her over thoroughly before. I had been able to see a flush of arousal on her face, extending down her neck, even though I couldn't smell her as well.

How did humans live with such blunted senses?

I would die if I had to live the rest of my life without my wolf.

"You're more beautiful now than you've ever been. I want you all the time. I've always wanted you all the time. Now? It's worse than ever."

"Worse?" she whispered, her eyes glued to my lips until I smiled wide enough to show teeth.

"Yes," I confirmed for her, feeling more like the predator I usually was when my wolf was awake, "Worse. I crave your scent on me. Your body. Your sounds even. I want them constantly."

Rachel swallowed visibly, tried to cover up her reaction by taking a drink of her water, and steadfastly avoided looking at me in favor of studying the menu. I had a feeling she couldn't focus enough to read a single word. If I were in full control of myself, I could have reached out with my mind to try to touch hers to listen in for myself.

Mindlinking wasn't possible without a woken wolf though and we were no longer mates or blood pack members. Could we even establish a mindlink while we were in our human forms? Would our baby bind us together since she carried both our blood inside her?

"Tell me what you're thinking."

The waiter arrived and Rachel ordered the lasagna before changing her mind and asking for spaghetti carbonara. I split the difference by asking for an order of both along with eggplant parmesan, cheese ravioli, and chicken marsala.

"We'll be taking everything we don't finish to go. My mate is pregnant."

Rachel choked on her water as the waiter bowed quickly then backed away from the table with my massive order to spur him on.

"You can't just say that to him! He's a stranger, Tyler!"

I quirked a brow, "Why can't I tell the waiter you're pregnant? You look pregnant if you lean a certain way. Are you trying to hide it?"

She would need to dress far differently if she wanted to hide her pregnancy.

I found myself getting angry at the thought she wanted to hide my child. What was wrong with carrying my child? Was she ashamed? My house was one of the best in the country, possibly in the world! Rachel should feel grateful she was going to have a healthy child of a worthy lineage.

"No. I am not trying to hide. I just don't announce personal details to the waiters."

Rachel startled me out of my thoughts with the touch of her hand on my arm.

"I can hear you grinding your teeth. Stop brooding. You'll throw me off my dinner."

Her fingers were warm and I caught them to bring her hand up to my lips. I kissed her with a tenderness I hoped showed I was sorry for my flash of fury. We could salvage this meal and then maybe we could try to salvage more.

"I apologize. I have been having---strong emotions. Without Wynd."

Rachel didn't try to take her hand away from me. She squeezed my fingers back. I studied her face until she tugged at my hand and I let her go.

"I miss Rayne, too. Sometimes? I wonder what she would think of this baby and then other times? I think of my baby and she's more than enough. I don't want a reason to resent her. You know I couldn't shift even if Rayne were awake."

"Do you think she'd be upset by the pregnancy? I thought females wanted young."

Wynd and Rayne were their own beings. Other wolves would understand we didn't have full control over how our wolfen counterparts felt or reacted to things. Humans tended to think we controlled the beast as a part of our nature. They didn't understand we were two parts who made a pair, not one whole.

"Rayne has never wanted to upset me. We haven't talked about young. I wanted children. I never discussed it with her though because I wanted to wait on my fated mate before being intimate and then you know how that went."

Rachel shrugged a shoulder and I became fascinated by the movement of her muscles under her skin. She was such a beautiful woman. Striking. I had escorted models and actresses and even the occasional pop star, but Rachel Flores remained the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

"You're beautiful."

"What?"

The waiter came with a helper to fill our table with the food we'd ordered. We exchanged amused glances as they fit everything with the skill of experienced servers. I would have to leave a very generous tip. They'd more than earned it.

"You say I don't communicate well. I was thinking you were beautiful. You didn't answer me before: what are you thinking?"

Rachel flushed, focusing overly hard on cutting a small square free from the corner of the lasagna as she admitted, "I was thinking about you kissing me. I have been having a lot of thoughts about us lately."

"Kissing?"

"And touching," she said.

I watched her eat for a moment before indulging in the carbohydrate craze we'd ordered up.

The food satisfied some of my cravings even if it did nothing to turn me off my desire for my mate.

Rachel still felt like my mate, too. I knew the scar cutting across my palm severed our bond, but it felt like an invisible rope which tied us together, too. I couldn't imagine a world in which I didn't yearn for her.

"I want to kiss and touch you. We could take a short detour before I drove you home---"

Rachel giggled, clearing her mouth with sparkling water before saying, "I think we're going to be too full to detour tonight. Pretty sure after all this? I'll just want to fall into a food coma to sleep it off."

"A food coma?"

The words sounded far less amusing to me when they were coming between me and Rachel falling into bed. I couldn't help the souring of my expression even as I saw her mirth growing.

Trust Rachel to enjoy irritating me. I should have known better than to suggest Italian---but she had said she needed to eat often. How serious was her blood regulation problem? She'd waved it off earlier. I found I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"I promise I'm not the only person who loves a good food coma. It's healthy every now and again."

"How serious is your issue with your blood? You said you have to drink water and eat often. Has the doctor given you more instructions? Are you being monitored?"

Rachel shook her head, "No. They don't need to monitor it right now. It isn't so serious. Don't worry so much, Tyler. You'll get wrinkles."

For some reason Rachel seemed to shut down some after the light tease. I didn't know what to say to bring her back to life. All I wanted was to make sure she ate well and wasn't miserable in my company.

We kept conversation light when we spoke at all. I had them pack our dishes up for Rachel to share with Bella later. We hadn't eaten nearly enough to justify the enormous order.

"Take me home."

Rachel issued the order just as the waiter arrived with the bill. She stood and left before I even had a chance to respond. What had happened? What had I done wrong?