Chapter 50

Rachel POV

1 Week Later

St. Mary's Hospital

"Are you ready to find out who we're expecting, Mama?"

The nurse was cheerful to the extreme which only made me feel more alone. Bella had been called into work and I felt far too awkward to ask Jack to escort me to my ultrasound appointment.

Tyler and I had been texting back and forth for days, but I didn't want to do anything to upset the fragile peace we had found together.

Work was important to Tyler. He didn't need to miss any meetings or whatever else he had filling his schedule in order to hold my hand during a routine procedure. I knew there was absolutely nothing to worry about since my previous scans had all been fine.

"Okay! Tell me! Am I going to be meeting a son or a daughter?"

I wasn't sure I was ready to know, but I needed to know. The information would come in handy when I went before the Alpha Council again. I also knew it truly mattered to the child's future as well.

I had to make the right decisions for my baby while I was still capable of completely protecting him or her.

Once born, a baby could be hurt or taken or any number of things because they were a whole person unto themselves at that stage.

In my belly, this child was a possibility. I could control the future for them because I was their whole universe during gestation. Their world would grow so much as soon as they were born; I had an obligation to give my child the best possible beginning I could.

"Here we go!"

The technician skimmed the wand around my belly, pressing and twisting until she got the view she wanted and then taking a screenshot so I could have a picture for my album at home.

"She's a girl! Yay! Have you thought of a name?"

I hadn't let myself consider names for either a boy or a girl. When I'd been a teen, I had played with the names I wanted for my children with Nathan Lewis, but I had never really understood the significance of naming a person until I was faced with the reality of doing it.

"I haven't made a choice yet," I admitted, "I'm hoping I can come up with something that feels 'right' if that makes sense?"

Nodding, the tech agreed, "I completely understand. My husband and I picked out a few names before ours were born. We waited until we were holding each one before making a final decision. There is just something for me in seeing their face, you know?"

No. I didn't know. This was my first pregnancy and I didn't have a husband to confer with about names much less to greet my child with me in the delivery room.

I kept smiling as I agreed all the same. She took more still frames of my baby in different poses -stretching, sucking her thumb, and even one where her hands looked as if they were waving- before cleaning the gel off my belly.

"There's never a wrong way to do anything, you know? That's the part they don't tell you about when you get pregnant. You can read all the books, make a birth plan, get a doula, whatever you want to do? It's all fine as long as it feels 'right' for you. Don't stress yourself too much, Mama. This little one is coming along perfectly."

I let her help me sit up and found myself giving her a spontaneous hug in return for her kindness. She gave me a friendly pat on the back as she handed me my printed photos along with a disk of the baby's movements. I planned to show it to Bella and Jack only to find I really wanted to have Tyler look at our daughter.

Would he be disappointed I wasn't carrying a boy to continue his family line of succession? Would he be less interested in getting to see a daughter than a son?

Wandering out of the Obstetrics wing, I focused on the idea of having a daughter. I knew all the reasons I wanted my own mother in my life which made me feel as if I were a little more prepared to be a girl-mom than a boy-mom.

Parenting blogs had become addictive to me. I was looking everywhere for answers to questions I didn't even have thought out; I was comforted by the stories of others who were brave enough to share their parenting experiences with the world.

The biggest takeaway I had come out with to date was no one was a perfect parent and there were no perfect children. Everyone was only figuring it out as they went along whether they had one child or ten children and the learning process never seemed to stop.

I was thrilled to read stories of new mothers, of course, but I found myself equally excited to read about parents whose children were grown yet still needed them in their lives.

Motherhood was the job I had wanted more than any other and it would be mine forever now. My baby girl was going to be so loved. I couldn't wait to tell everyone about the daughter I was going to be welcoming into my life in only a few short months.

I had eleven weeks to come up with the right decision to put before the Alpha Council, too.

The deadline they'd imposed on me regarding my mated status weighed heavier on me than my budding belly. I kept thinking I wanted to try a real date with Tyler only to find I couldn't send the words to him and he had yet to send them to me. We talked in text, but we hadn't spoken since the night he brought me pizza from Giovanni's and Nathan Lewis seemed to call every time I went to call Tyler myself.

Nathan was being so kind I didn't know how to process his actions. It was as if the frantic, frenzied man who had demanded I marry him immediately was a figment of my imagination brought on by pregnancy hormones or something. He was the sweet boy I had loved in high school all over again.

I spoke to him every day for a few minutes at least and I was all we talked about which was a refreshing change from speaking to everyone else about themselves.

Standing in front of the hospital, my rideshare arrived as I looked at the duplicate set of prints the technician had made for me. She had said they were for my 'partner' which I found amusing even as I was grateful she had not assumed I had a husband waiting.

It did make me wonder what the office staff thought of me---did they think Bella was my lover? We shared an address and she came with me to every appointment she could. We often held hands. Our easy physicality with one another was completely normal for us, but humans attached different meaning to the smallest of gestures.

"Do you need help getting in, ma'am?"

The driver looked anxious as he leaned out his window to check on me. I had completely spaced while standing there. Who knew how long he'd been waiting for me to get myself together and get in the car?

Blushing, I shook my head, "No! I'm so sorry. Could you take me to a different address? I need to go downtown. I just found out I'm having a girl. I wanted to tell her---her father."

He blushed himself as he agreed quickly, "No problem at all! Give to me the address and I will take you."

I reeled off the address for Moonrise Entertainment as I fastened my safety belt. I had chosen to sit in the front seat rather than the back since he was driving a compact and I was grateful I had once he pulled practically onto the sidewalk to let me out at the front of the building.

I hadn't realized how close the hospital was to Tyler or I might have thought to visit him after an ultrasound before.

Going into the lobby, I nodded to the guard who gave me a nod back as he let me pass him by without pause and I was reminded of the first time I had come to this place to see Tyler.

I could get beyond the lobby at least now, right? That was progress.

Lonnah, Tyler's assistant, stood up as she saw me coming, her mouth dropping open for a moment before she greeted me, "Miss Rachel! Tyler is alone in his office. Would you like me to call him to let him know you're here to visit? I'm sure he will have you come right in."

I realized I didn't have to see Tyler at all at this stage. I could give Lonnah the ultrasound pictures and she was more than capable of ensuring he got them. I knew the technician had put pink stickers on them saying "I'm a girl!" as well as notes in the margins of the scans to indicate the baby's progress in the womb.

Seeing Tyler would be my choice. Did I want to see him or did I want to leave the information at his desk and run home where I was safe?