Chapter 4: Never Enough

CREMA'S POINT OF VIEW

Janine didn't care what Giovan said.

She didn't care what the king thought.

To her, only Giovan mattered.

“I don't care anymore, Giovan,” she said.

“I miss you.”

“I want to be with you.”

Before I could process her words, Janine sat on Giovan's lap.

“Leave,” Giovan said.

“Someone might see you.”

He tried to push her away.

But Janine wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Oh my!”

I froze.

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Giovan looked at me.

For a moment, his eyes widened.

Then his expression returned to normal.

“Come here,” he said to Janine.

He pulled her closer.

Their lips almost touched again.

My wolf whimpered.

The pain hit instantly.

I couldn't think.

Couldn't breathe.

I knew about their past.

I knew there had been rumors.

But seeing it with my own eyes...

was unbearable.

“What is this?” I asked.

It was a stupid question.

I knew exactly what I was seeing.

Janine looked at me.

Then raised an eyebrow.

That made me even angrier.

It was my first day as Giovan's wife.

And I was already watching him with another woman.

How pathetic.

How humiliating.

I turned and ran.

Out of the house.

Into the woods.

I shifted into my wolf.

The pain was too much.

“Ahhhh!”

My cry echoed through the forest.

I couldn't stop thinking.

What if this wasn't the first time?

What if they had been meeting in secret?

“Damn it!”

I kept running.

Until I reached the top of the hill.

Only then did I stop.

Tears streamed down my face.

I cried.

And cried.

Until exhaustion finally dragged me to sleep.

When I woke up, it was dark.

An entire day had passed.

And I still didn't know what to do.

Janine had always wanted what belonged to me.

That much I knew.

But Giovan...

I didn't understand him.

Why do that in front of me?

Why hurt me so openly?

If he loved Janine...

why didn't he fight for her?

Why marry me?

I took a deep breath.

Then shifted again.

I ran back home.

At the gate, I slowed down.

Please...

let Janine be gone.

I went straight to my room.

No matter how hurt I was, I still had responsibilities.

I would be a good wife.

I would win over Giovan's family.

And I would never let Janine take what was mine.

Never.

I turned on the shower.

Cold water poured over me.

From my head.

Down my body.

The cold cleared my mind.

Little by little.

It made me feel stronger.

Calmer.

After my shower, I wrapped myself in a thin bathrobe.

My hair was still wet when I stepped out.

Then—

I heard a voice.

Giovan.

I froze.

I hadn't expected him to be here.

Suddenly, I felt exposed.

Weak.

I crossed my arms over my chest.

Trying to hide myself.

“I-I'm sorry,” I blurted out.

I hurried toward the closet.

I reached for my pajamas.

Then...

I felt him behind me.

Close.

Very close.

His breath brushed the back of my neck.

And my entire body went still.

“You don't need to be sorry, honey,” Giovan said softly.

Before I could react, he wrapped his arms around me.

His lips brushed my neck.

I shivered.

My body reacted before my mind could.

“Come here,” he whispered.

He turned me around so I was facing him.

But the moment I looked into his eyes...

I remembered.

Janine.

Sitting on his lap.

Kissing him.

Smiling at him.

I hesitated.

Giovan noticed.

“You're irresistible,” he said.

His eyes traveled over me.

Not my face.

Not my feelings.

Just me.

“Touch me.”

It sounded more like an order than a request.

He took my hand and placed it against his chest.

My mind told me to stop.

To push him away.

But my heart was weak.

A terrible thought crossed my mind.

Maybe if I was enough for him...

he wouldn't want Janine.

Maybe if I made him happy...

he would choose me.

Maybe I just had to try harder.

Be better.

Be everything he wanted.

The thought hurt.

But I couldn't stop hoping.

I let him pull me closer.

I let myself forget.

Just for a little while.

But even as he held me...

my mind wandered.

Would he ever look at me this way outside our room?

Would he praise me in front of others?

Would he ever choose me first?

Or was I only important when we were alone?

“Help me,” Giovan said.

It took me a moment to understand.

I helped him.

My hands trembled.

Not because I was shy.

Because I was scared.

Scared that no matter what I did...

it still wouldn't be enough.

He kissed me.

And I kissed him back.

Trying desperately to believe this meant something.

Trying desperately to forget Janine.

For a moment...

I almost succeeded.

“You're getting better.”

Those were the only words he gave me.

Then he stood.

And walked away.

He disappeared into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, he came back dressed in his pajamas.

Like nothing had happened.

Like I hadn't just given him everything I had.

“Dinner should be ready,” he said.

He didn't wait for my answer.

He simply left.

The door closed behind him.

And just like that...

everything returned to normal.

I stared at the ceiling.

A hollow feeling spread through my chest.

He praised my body.

Enjoyed my affection.

And then...

he walked away.

As if none of it mattered.

I was hungry.

I hadn't eaten all day.

So I got dressed and headed to the dining room.

I checked my reflection before leaving.

Janine might still be here.

I refused to look weak in front of her.

“You are so generous,” I heard Janine say.

My steps froze.

She was sitting comfortably at the table.

Smiling.

Laughing.

Like she belonged there.

The king chuckled.

I clenched my fists.

How shameless.

When I entered the dining room, everyone was already seated.

They had even started eating.

I was late.

“I feel sorry for you, Crema,” King Dior said.

“You always look tired from taking care of your Alpha.”

“Don't worry.”

“You'll get used to it.”

Heat rushed to my face.

I lowered my eyes.

The memory of what had happened upstairs flashed through my mind.

And across the table...

Janine smirked.

Like she knew exactly why I was late.

Like she had won something.

And for the first time that night...

I wondered if she had.