Chapter 3 Try It Sometime

~Lila~

It is late Saturday afternoon and I am in the living room of mine and Jenna’s house, my pink yoga mat on the floor, Beethoven’s symphony playing lightly in the background, and my body situated comfortably in a plank I’ve been holding for the past 62 seconds when I hear the jingling of keys and the turning of the door knob, followed by Jenna leisurely strolling inside.

I drop my planked position and prop myself up on my elbows, my head resting in the palm of my hands as I ask, “You’re back late. How’d lunch with your broody brother go?”

With a hum, Jenna maintains that forced smile and takes a seat on our light gray, suede sectional. “It was good. Good. You know, really good.”

“Okay,” I chuckle, noticing the odd tone in my friend’s voice and the strange expression that seems glued to her normally easy features. “That’s great.”

Jenna slaps her hands on her knees and blows out a heavy and uncomfortable, “Yep.”

“Okay,” I shake my head and arch a curious brow. “Stop being weird and tell me whatever’s going on.” When Jenna hesitates and looks away, I begin to speculate, “Oh, does it have to do with that Drew guy? Did he turn out to be a total creep?”

“No,” she smiles fondly at the thought of Drew. “Drew’s actually pretty great so far. We’ve been texting on and off all day and we’ve got plans to meet up again tonight.”

“Okay,” I tap my chin thoughtfully and then squirm into a sitting position, crossing my legs and staring intently towards her. “What is it then?”

Sighing, she relents and replies, “I, uh, I kind of need a favor.”

This time, noticing the growing distress in Jenna’s voice and in her furrowed brows, I straighten and my face grows serious. “Ok, sure. What is it? Do you need me to cover rent this month? Whatever it is, you know I got you, girl. We’re practically like family.”

“Speaking of family... IneedyoutobeokaywithRyanmovinginforafewmonths,” Jenna mumbles out at record speed and just above a whisper, her eyes darting to the floor.

Something between a snort and a laugh escapes my lips as I ask, “What?” Fully unable to comprehend a word of what has just been said.

Her eyes still trained to the floor, but speaking slowly and more clearly, she replies, “I need you to be okay with Ryan moving in for a few months.”

“What!” I howl, my body physically recoiling at the news. “You’ve gotta be kidding. No way!”

“Don’t be like that. Remember that I was totally fine with it when you wanted Marcus to move in when we decided to find a house after living together in our dorm all freshman year.”

“That’s different,” I whine. “Marcus is sweet, and funny, and he’s the type of roommate that holds your hair back when you puke from having too much to drink. Ryan, well he’s… he’s the type of roommate that would push your face down in the puke and tell you he warned you not to drink so much and that you better learn your lesson and not do it again.”

With a deep frown and fierce protectiveness in her voice, Jenna counters, “That’s not fair. You don’t know Ryan like that. He’s not cruel.” Though internally, Jenna does have to admit the scenario I paint doesn’t sound entirely unreasonable to imagine. “Ryan’s actually really kind underneath all his bluster and bullshit, he just doesn’t open up to people and let them see that side of him easily. You of all people should understand defense mechanisms, you’re a psychology major. And you’re never this judgmental of people. You always want to see the good in them, no matter what. Why can’t you try and do that when it comes to Ryan?”

“I know, I know, okay?” My face softens. “I’m sorry,  I just don’t know what it is about him that just.. rubs me the wrong way and you can’t sit here and tell me he doesn’t feel the exact same way about me. The thought of living with someone I can’t get along with for an indefinite amount of time, it’s just an overwhelming feeling.”

“Come on, Lila,” she pleads. “Do this for me. He’s my only brother and he needs me right now.”

“Ugh,” I sigh. “Fine, okay. I’ll do it. And I’ll try my best to keep an open mind and be nice.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Jenna claps, the corners of her lips quirking up and her misty eyes brightening. “You’re the best.”

With a forced smile, I try to push away all the uncertainty and anxiety I’m feeling over the situation when something suddenly dawns on me and my face contorts in confusion. “Wait? Isn’t he married? Is his wife going to live here, too?”

Jenna recounts an extremely edited version of Ryan’s story, simply supplying the fact that his ten year marriage just ended abruptly and he can’t afford to keep the house.

My disdain and agitation begin to soften even more and that bubbling guilt seems to mix with a feeling of pity. I fidget with a loose strand of hair hanging down beside my neck.

“I’m sorry that happened to him.” I say finally. “Of course I can tough it out for six months to help someone so important to you going through something so difficult.”

“If that long,” Jenna responds, “I know my brother, he doesn’t like depending on people. Least of all, depending on me. I’d be shocked if he was here longer than three months.”

~

~Ryan~

The week comes and goes, and before I know it, I’m reluctantly pulling up to my sister’s house in my gray, four-door, Chevy Silverado, the only remaining large item to my name.

I sit with the engine idling, both hands on the wheel, staring at the ranch-style house at the top of it like it might do something. Like if I wait long enough it’ll give me a reason to put the truck in reverse. The San Gabriel Mountains sit distant and indifferent behind the roofline, and I watch them for a moment before I make myself stop.

Thirteen years. That’s what I’m carrying up this driveway in a duffle bag and a suitcase. Thirteen years that ended with divorce papers in a parking lot outside a treatment facility I took out a second mortgage to pay for.

I think about the kids Vanessa and I never had. We’d envisioned a little girl with her blond hair and smile, and a boy in a baseball uniform with my build and her eyes. I let myself think about them for exactly three seconds and then I put them away, because that’s the only way I’m getting out of this truck.

My eyes drop back to the house. The grass is overgrown. The wrap-around porch has unstained wood that’s been left too long, and there’s a shutter hanging at a wrong angle, paint peeling at the corners.

She needs me here. That’s what I tell myself. My sister and her roommate need someone around to deal with exactly this kind of thing, and I know how to work with my hands, and the shutter alone would take me twenty minutes. I’m doing them a favor. It’s not a particularly convincing argument, but it’s the only one I’ve got, and it’s enough to get me out of the truck.

With a duffle bag slung over my arm and a large suitcase that I tugs behind, I clamber up the small stairway of the front porch and unenthusiastically knock on the door.

I’m barely finished one knock when the door opens and it’s Lila, not Jenna, who opens the door.

“Ryan,” she greets me with a polite and welcoming smile, “Come on in. Jenna’s in the restroom, but she’ll be out in just a minute.”

“Harper,” I curtly respond with a nod and slip in the door, clutching the strap of my duffle bag.

I don’t know why, but her warm smile irks me. My eyes linger on her face, noticing the way the dimples in her cheeks disappear as her smile falters and is replaced with a heavy scowl and folded arms across the chest.

“You can call me Lila,” she corrects firmly. “That’s my first name. That’s how normal people address people.”

My brows crease and I’m about to jump on the defensive, but Jenna walks in before I can open my mouth.

She steps directly between us with the practiced efficiency of someone who saw this coming, and pulls me into a hug that I return with one arm, my other hand still gripping the duffle strap.  She tells me how much better I look with a clean shave and haircut, though I know she must still see the heaviness behind my eyes, because I can damn sure still feel it.

She proceeds to assure me it’s great to see me and how happy she and Lila are to have me staying with them, but I don’t miss the huff and eye roll Lila lets out at my sister’s statement.

I narrow my eyes at her and she rolls her eyes at me before walking away.

Jenna leads me down the hallway, pointing out rooms as we go, and I drag the suitcase behind me and take a mental inventory. Her room is on the far end of the house, across the living room. Mine is–

I stop when I see it. Then I see what’s across from it.

“So she and I are sharing a bathroom,” I say. It comes out flat.

“Yeah, there’s only two. The one in my room, which is the master bathroom, and then this one.”

I look at the door, then I look at Jenna hopefully. “Any chance you and I can swap rooms?”

“No way!” She playfully shoves me. “I won that room fair and square three years ago in an intense game of rock paper scissors. I’m not about to give it up now, especially not when you’re only going to be here half a year.”

I groans. “Fine, but she better not make a mess and she better not hog all the hot water.”

“Lila’s pretty organized. She’s like you and likes to keep things neat.” Jenna chuckles. “And if I remember correctly from when you were in high school, you’re the one who hogs the bathroom.”

“Haha, aren’t you funny.”

“Oh, I’m pretty hilarious,” she agrees as we walk through the hallway until we get to a door.

She pushes open the door to my room and I step inside and immediately stop. My nose wrinkles.

“What the hell?” I reach into my pocket and produce my badge on reflex, turning it over in my hand. “Who’s been smoking pot in here? This smells like a hotbox.”

“Okay, first…” Lila’s voice carries from the living room. I hear the couch cushions shift, then footsteps. “marijuana is legal in California for both medicinal and recreational use, so even if it were that, your badge is decorative in this context.” She appears in the doorway and holds up a finger. “Second, it’s not marijuana. It’s sage and eucalyptus.”

I stare at her. “Why.”

She holds up another finger, patient in a way that somehow irritates me more than impatience would. “Sage promotes calmness and boosts mood. Eucalyptus refreshes and re-energizes the body while soothing the mind. I was trying to be helpful.”

I glare at Jenna first, then Lila, before sighing, shaking my head and storming into my room and grumbling, “I don’t believe in that cleansing, mumbo-jumbo crap. And I don’t need my mood to be refreshed or re-energized, or re-anything.”

I slam the door behind me and growl, “And stay out of my room. Both of you.”

“I was trying to be nice,” Lila shouts through the closed door. “You should try it some time!”