Chapter 6 Six

Chapter six

Lyra’s POV

The days after my awakening were worse than death.

I thought I had known pain before when Cersei and her friends beat me until I couldn’t breathe, when Damon lied and made me look like the villain, when my own pack treated me like dirt. That pain was sharp, cruel, and it faded when I closed my eyes.

But this was different.

This was constant.

The hunger never left me. It lived inside me like a second heartbeat, clawing at my ribs, scratching at my throat. No matter what I did, it was there. Every time someone walked past my chamber, I heard their pulse, quick and steady, and the sound filled my head until I wanted to scream. Every drop of blood in this place called to me, and every second I was awake I had to fight not to leap and sink my teeth into someone’s throat.

It scared me.

I wasn’t myself anymore. I wasn’t wolf, not really. My wolf was still inside me, restless and uneasy, but something else had taken root. Something darker, sharper, hungrier. When I looked at my reflection in the polished stone wall, I barely recognized the girl staring back. Her eyes glowed faintly red. Her skin was pale, too pale, and her teeth God, the fangs looked real, not like something from a nightmare but part of me.

The vampires around me hated it. They whispered when they thought I couldn’t hear, and even when they did not speak, I could feel their fear. Their fear tasted like ash in my mouth, bitter and tempting at the same time.

Cassien was the only one who didn’t treat me like I was a curse. But he wasn’t gentle either. He didn’t offer comfort or reassurance. He gave me orders. One, over and over again.

“Control it.”

He said it when he saw my eyes flash red at the sight of blood.

He said it when my claws scraped the walls at night.

He said it when I trembled, teeth bared, and I swore I’d lose myself.

If I asked him how, he gave no answer. He only repeated the command, his tone like iron.

At first, I hated him for it. I thought he wanted me to fail, to suffer until I broke. But then I realized he was testing me. He wanted to see if I was strong enough to survive this new thing inside me. Strong enough to master it, instead of letting it master me.

Still, it was almost impossible.

One night, when the hunger burned so bad I thought my bones would crack, Cassien came to me. The door to my chamber swung open without warning, and he stood there in his dark cloak, tall and cold as ever.

“Come,” he said simply.

I blinked at him, my hands trembling as I gripped the edge of the bed. “Where?”

His red eyes glowed faintly in the dark. “You’ll see.”

I didn’t argue. I couldn’t. Something in his voice didn’t leave room for refusal. I pulled my cloak around me and followed him through the halls. The guards and advisors who saw us whispered, but none dared to speak aloud. Some bowed as Cassien passed, but their eyes darted toward me, sharp with hatred. I kept my gaze down and walked faster, wishing I could disappear.

We left the fortress through the eastern gate, stepping into the forest beyond. The air was cold, the kind of cold that bit at your skin, but I barely felt it. Everything was too sharp. The crunch of snow beneath our boots sounded like thunder in my ears. The wind carried scents I couldn’t ignore earth, bark, animals hiding in the dark.

Cassien walked ahead, silent as ever, his cloak brushing against the snow. He didn’t look back to see if I was following. He didn’t need to. I couldn’t have turned away if I tried. Something about him pulled me forward, even when every instinct told me to stay behind.

We walked for what felt like hours, deeper and deeper into the woods. The moon hung heavy above the trees, silver and cold, and every time I looked at it, my wolf stirred. But the hunger was louder. It drowned out the moon’s call, replacing it with a fire in my veins that made me clench my teeth to keep from snarling.

Then I heard it.

A heartbeat.

It was faint at first, then stronger the longer I listened. My head turned without me even thinking about it. Somewhere ahead, behind a cluster of bare trees, something moved.

A deer.

It limped into the clearing, its leg caught in a hunter’s old trap. The scent of blood poured from it, hot and rich, and it was like the world tilted. My mouth watered. My whole body trembled.

“Go on,” Cassien said behind me, his voice steady.

I spun toward him, my eyes wide. “What?”

He didn’t move, didn’t blink. “Feed.”

“I can’t,” I stammered. The idea horrified me. I wasn’t an animal, I wasn’t some beast that killed without thought.

His gaze hardened. “You will. Or you will die here in these woods, eaten by your own hunger.”

My chest heaved. I turned back to the deer. It was weak, barely standing, its breath coming in ragged gasps. The smell of its blood filled my head until I couldn’t think of anything else. I told myself to look away, to walk back, to be stronger. But my body didn’t listen.

I lunged.

My claws tore into its fur, pulling it down. My teeth sank into its throat before I could stop myself. Blood rushed into my mouth, hot and heavy, spilling down my chin. I swallowed greedily, the fire inside me cooling with every mouthful. My body stopped trembling. The pain faded. For the first time since the ritual, I felt… steady.

When it was over, the deer lay still, its eyes empty. I dropped it and fell to my knees, my chest heaving. My hands were red, my lips wet with blood. Shame hit me like a stone.

I stared at what I had done, horror crawling up my throat. “I’m… I’m a monster,” I whispered. Tears blurred my vision. “I didn’t even think. I just I killed it.”

Cassien stepped closer, his boots crunching softly in the snow. He looked down at me, his expression unreadable. “No,” he said finally. “You are power. And power is never gentle.”

I shook my head, sobbing. “I didn’t want this. I didn’t want any of this.”

His voice softened, just slightly. “None of us choose what we become. But we choose what we do with it.”

I looked up at him, my hands shaking, my heart breaking. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to think I could control this, that I could be more than the hunger. But all I saw was blood.

And I wasn’t sure if there was any Lyra left at all.