Chapter 3 OUT OF SIGHT?

Andre’s POV

It’s been three weeks since I saw her at the cafè and her face still haunts me. I see her in every reflection, in every stranger that passes by me on the street, everywhere! I remembered who she was immediately, I can’t say the same about her. It would be different now if she didn’t look so much like the past I have tried to run away from and the guilt I still carry. I wish things were different.

I know how awkward it must have been when I hurriedly left the café like I had seen a ghost, but I don’t think I’m ready to face her. I don’t want a reminder of my foolish actions. Although, I still feel the same way I did years ago, but I can’t risk being the bad guy again. 

The thought of running into her anywhere makes me sick to my stomach. I almost went on the trip with my friend to check one of his grandfather’s local breweries and everyone expected me to be there, I even told him I’d go. But, when I imagined seeing her in that town, I couldn’t. I had to call in sick. Lying, of course. The truth is, I couldn’t risk it. Not yet. Not while I’m still haunted by the memory of that day.

I was filled with the urge to know everything about her life. I want to know the most minute detail, even if I can’t face her yet. “Make sure you run a complete profile check,” I tell my assistant. All my efforts to sound casual fail. 

“Yes, sir,” he replies, already pulling up local directories. 

Hours later, the first report came in.

“Nella Dupree. Works morning shifts at the Café Biztro. She’s known for her efficiency and charm.”

I knew her name already and that charming nature of hers wasn’t new at all. It happens to be one of the things I like about her. Asides, dropping by to see Nick in school and play video games, Nella was another reason I dropped by. Although I never said a word to her, I was drawn to her. The way her eyes light up when she smiles and the way her hair falls back too. She was light and my whole life was filled with too much darkness and I couldn’t risk dragging her into it, so I kept my distance. I don’t even think I can approach her anymore, she looks so much like her mother. I just can’t. Well, maybe in another life, she’d be mine. All I can do right now is dig deeper and follow her life without stepping into it. I shouldn’t be doing this. I know it’s obsessive, invasive and maybe even pathetic. But, I can’t stop. Or rather, I don’t want to.

Then came the job application. She’d applied to one of my fashion houses and I can’t have her walking through my doors, I can’t face her everyday. So, I blocked her application quietly. Not because she’s unqualified. She’s brilliant. She has all it takes for the job, but because I know what it’d do to me. I know what you’re thinking and before you call me that, live a day in my life. I’m selfish. I know I am. Add obsessed to the list. I’m alive with desire and dread in equal parts.

“Morning shift’s over. She’s leaving the cafe now,” my assistant says. “Picks up her brother, then hospital.”

Every detail sinks in. Every routine, every little step she takes and man! I don’t care if this is invasive anymore. I badly want to step into her world. I can’t stop thinking about her. About the café and about her fragility. I’m reminded of her life, my guilt, everything we both carry. I think of that brief moment at the café again, the ghost reflecting in her face, the way I froze, unable to speak and unable to fix the past. 

I hate that I feel this way and I hate how much she consumes my thoughts and yet I know she’s like too much candy for a kid.

Soon, I’ll have to face her and when I do, things will never be the same.