Chapter 4

A thought occurs to me when he continues staring and I go on all fours, I can only hope I look as seductive as those pornstars who do this. My voice lowers to a whisper and I raise my hand to his hair.

“I forgive you for last night, no hard feelings. We can start over, here and now.”

To buttress my point, I crawl behind him and rub my breasts against his back. I let out a sound I think is sexy, my time with my sexually active roommate is finally paying off. She will be proud of me, the naive nun.

My fingers move to the hem of Brandon’s shirt but he’s quick to hold my hands down.

“I don’t need your forgiveness,” he says in a voice that has my body vibrating all over again with need. His accent is to die for and I will give everything to hear it while he pumps into me. “And you need to eat.”

His words send a signal to my stomach which growls in the silence. I was unable to eat anything yesterday due to jitters, even the vanilla cake that’s my favourite dessert.

“Only you can satisfy me,” I murmur.

He doesn’t answer me, instead, he starts to scoop beans into his mouth. I watch as his lips move, reminded of the parts of me they visited last night and I am left breathless.

My horniness takes on a new level, a desperate high and momentarily anger surges through me when he finishes the breakfast he claims to have brought for me. No bother, he can make it up to me.

“Take it off,” I order, pointing to his short.

His eyebrow raises in amusement and he grabs the yoghurt. The milky liquid seeps from the corner of his lips while his eyes remain on me and I gulp; such a simple act yet he manages to make it sensual.

“Take it off,” I say louder this time. My voice brook no arguments and I smile internally when he lifts himself high enough for me to pull his shorts off. I like his obedient side.

My eyes pop at the size of his cock, it’s the same size as those men on porn sites. My only sexual experience is from watching porn and yes, my roommate has a hand in it. My sex knowledge is all thanks to her.

Clarissa could not bear the thought of a pretty adult like me not knowing what a penis looks like so we binge-watched lots of porn. I was naive and eager to see these things so I never put up much of a fight.

The frequent watching of those videos came at a price and a greater part of my second year was spent trying to break off from the porn addiction. I know so much about sex and the different styles, it is hard for some of my friends to believe I am still a virgin.

Licking my lips nervously, I will myself to remain bold. My gaze descends to Brand’s limp cock and I stroke it lazily. A strange sensation courses through me as his dick hardens in my hands. This is my first handjob and I am doing great. Alleluia!

“Fuck me,” I command and push myself up without halting my movements.

He grabs me by the neck with his left hand, I arch my back and moan when his fingers trail the space in between my breasts. That little gesture encourages me to increase my hand movements and when he pinches my taut nipples, I whimper in delight. I want more.

“Fuck me,” I say again, my voice is softer, almost pleading and my eyes are closed.

“No.”

When his fingers move to the nape of my neck, I convince myself that he’s fooling around. I have been told severally that I am easy to mess with. The messy bun on my head comes undone and my hair tumbles down to form a curtain for my breasts.

“I like your hair down,” he murmurs and levels a stare at me before his hands go to rest at his sides. “Get dressed.”

“Goddamit. Fuck me, Brandon.”

“No. I don’t fuck virgins.”

“I’m your wife,” I cry out.

His dislike for virgins doesn’t make sense to me, even if he tries explaining, at this point, it won’t make any difference. Only a part of our bodies should be doing the talking. Not just any type of talk, a talk where his dick attends to the ache in between my legs and his hand discusses with my breasts.

When Brandon remains immobile, I kick the tray from the bed, ignoring the sound it makes as it connects with the tiled floor. I push myself up till I’m straddling him and guide his cock to the entrance of my vagina.

I moan at the sweet sensation that envelopes me from our little contact, I have barely started moving and I already feel this way. Why then is he denying me of this beautiful feeling, my marital rites?

Digging my fingers into his shoulder, I rotate my hips, afraid to have all of him inside me without his consent. He is huge and I know sex with a virgin hurts as much as getting kicked in the face by a bull. I need him to do this with me, guide me because my sexual experiences are only theoretical.

“Are you done?” Brandon suddenly asks and my teeth sink into my plump lips. I avoid his eyes as he holds my waist at half an arm’s length and embarrassment floods my cheeks. I should have taken no for an answer.

Just like yesterday, he rams into me without notice and I scream. There’s no pleasure this time, only a wave of blinding pain that rolls over my body and leaves me gasping.

“Do you get it now?” he asks, his question is rhetorical, the smile that lifts the corner of his lips is proof. How can he be smiling?

The throbbing in between my leg has reduced to a dull ache, it’s not just desire anymore, it’s a mix of pain and arousal but I don’t want him touching me ever again. I am content with being a virgin, I have been one for years, I will be fine without him.

A sad smile graces my lips when I note how he stares me down with his arrogant smirk. I will rather remain celibate than have him treat me that way. Never again.

“You are a monster,” I say and move far from him, grabbing the duvet to cover up.

“I have been called worse,” he murmurs and rises to his feet. “Clean up your mess.”

Brandon stares at me for a few seconds more before walking out of the room, leaving me horny, angry and teary-eyed.