Chapter 5 Chapter Five

“Hey big D, take a break would ya? You’re making us look bad,” Damien, his cousin joked.

“And you might just worsen the knee,” practical Dale added coming behind Damien.

Derek ignored them and pushed on the leg press machine a few more times, but once his left leg began to shake, he knew he would have to stop soon. His knee couldn’t take the strain any longer.

“Besides, this is our bonding time. We finally have you around more often and we want to catch up, spend time together not escort you to the gym like we’re your groupies.”

Derek chuckled at Damien’s pouty face. Since he became a dad and a husband he didn’t take life too seriously, rather he made it a point to enjoy each day with his family. And he was right. This time at the gym two times a week in the evenings was for the three of them to get close again and bond. For Dale and Damien having families took most of their time when they weren’t working. Derek didn’t envy them, he didn’t feel like he was missing something by not having a family of his own, much to his own mother’s disappointment. In fact, he applauded his cousins. Not many men in their line of work—Dale who chased after psycho serial killers and Damien working to take down gangs and mobs—would have the courage to have families with all the evils that they knew first hand existed in the world. If only Derek could explain that to his mother, but that would mean going into details he was legally bound not to.

Derek never wanted kids, ever, but that choice had been taken away from him. It was the only reason why he couldn’t, wouldn’t kill that bitch. Strangle her yes, but kill… he was going to have to find a way to restrain himself.

He eased his legs off the press machine and sat up. He pulled his towel from the hand rest and dabbed his wet face. “I’m determined to get my life back.”

“We get that, but the doctors told you not to overdo it.”

Derek glared up at Dale, “No Dale, you don’t get anything.”

Dale glared back, “Yeah because you’re the only person in the entire world who’s ever been shot and had his life turned upside down.”

Derek felt well and truly ashamed. It was such a damn ass comment, he regretted making it.

Dale knew exactly how difficult it was to get his career back on track after being derailed. The two bullets to his back had caused enough damage to have him sitting out of the game for months and on desk duty for even more. He was out on the field after a year and his boss only let him because he was hunting down his psycho sister-in-law who had shot him as he body shielded his wife. But that ended okay, a little weird, but okay. Damien was now married to psycho sister-in-law with three kids and she didn’t remember a thing about her life prior and no one was going to tell her. She had been a victim of a mind control experiment gone wrong. She was Tasha Smith, now Tasha Chan. As far as everyone was concerned Ellsa Jabari the assassin and the psycho was dead and long gone. But even though Ellie was content to have her twin back and Damien was as happy as a clam, Dale was still a little tense around Tasha. How could he not be? The woman had kidnaped both his kids, one was still in uetro and Ellie had almost died because of it. She was also having trouble conceiving again, so yeah Dale had every right to be reserved and alert around her.

When Derek had found out that Ellsa—Tasha was the White Widow, shock wasn’t word enough to express what he felt at that moment. At first he’d thought it was Ellie. Dale had sent him his wedding picture and his jaw hit the floor. She’d looked exactly like the woman he’d spotted with Katarina six years ago in Holland. He’d looked her up then and there was nothing that hinted about her clandestine line of work. He thought he’d finally found the elusive White Widow, a definite boost in his career, but he was apprehensive about her being married to his cousin. He’d planned on going home, introducing himself to his new family member when a new assignment disrupted his plans. By the time he was done, Dale had been shot and Damien had disappeared to Mexico searching for some phantom girlfriend.

He felt guilty that he wasn’t there when their lives were falling apart at the seams and yet they were with him when his own life had collapsed around his ears, his career dead in the water.

“I’m sorry man. I just… it’s the only life I know and I can’t accept that I’ve lost it.”

Damien patted his shoulder, “It may be hard now, but once you start moving on, it will get better. You could start with visiting-”

Derek shot to his feet, cutting Damien off and forcing him to take a step back. He bit down hard on his back teeth from the pain. The quick movement sent spasms of piercing pain into his knee, but he was pissed enough to walk away without limping.

“You can’t run from her forever!” Damien shouted after him.

“Watch me,” Derek gritted out, punching the locker room door open and letting it bang shut behind him. He didn’t even bother to take a shower. He just grabbed his stuff out of his locker, shoved it into his gym bag and quickly left before his cousins cornered him. He drove his Mustang like a madman to his apartment building. He took the elevator up to the eleventh floor and limped to his door when he noticed someone standing there, with her back to him. Discreetly he unzipped his gym bag and slid his hand in, wrapping it around the barrel of his forty-five.