Chapter 6

Later that Day

Ciel found herself wandering aimlessly around the city, her thoughts too tangled to focus on any one thing. She had needed space, but now, in the quiet solitude of the afternoon, she felt more lost than ever. It wasn’t just Simon that confused her—it was everything. Her engagement to Alexander, her feelings toward Simon, the aftermath of betrayal, and the ache of loneliness that gnawed at her. She had been so focused on finding answers, on discovering where she fit in all of this, that she hadn’t stopped to consider what she really wanted—what she truly needed.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, snapping her from her thoughts. She fished it out, glancing at the screen. It was a message from Yuri.

Yuri: “I’m worried about you. Let me know if you need anything. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Ciel stared at the message for a moment, her throat tightening as she thought about her brothers. They had always been there for her, supporting her through the darkest times. But right now, she felt like she couldn’t talk to anyone. She didn’t know how to explain what was going on inside her. She didn’t know how to explain the confusion, the hurt, or the dangerous attraction she felt toward Simon, who remained a distant enigma she couldn’t quite reach.

She quickly typed out a reply, hoping to ease her brother’s worries without letting him in too deep.

Ciel: “I’m okay, Yuri. Just need some time to think. I’ll call you soon.”

She put the phone back in her pocket and continued walking, letting her feet carry her wherever they led. The city's noise was a dull hum in the background, and for a moment, she allowed herself to simply exist in the quiet of her thoughts.

But even as she walked, she couldn’t escape the image of Simon’s face, his distant gaze, his emotional walls, and the way he had been so closed off. She couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how much space she gave herself, no matter how much time she took to figure things out, the distance between them would always be there. The question was whether that distance was something she could accept—or something she would need to break through, no matter the cost.

And the more she thought about it, the more she realized the painful truth: it wasn’t just Simon who was emotionally distant. It was her, too. She had been hiding from her own feelings for so long, trying to keep control, trying to protect herself from the hurt. But maybe it was time to face the truth. Time to stop running, stop pretending she had all the answers.

But where did that leave her and Simon? And what did it mean for her relationship with Alexander?

Ciel sighed and looked up at the sky, as though seeking answers in the clouds. She didn’t have them—not yet. But she knew one thing for sure: she couldn’t keep living in this limbo. Something had to give.

Ciel woke up the next morning with a heavy heart. The tension from yesterday still lingered in her chest, the storm of emotions she had tried to suppress all night threatening to break free. She had spent hours tossing and turning, trying to find clarity in the quiet darkness of her room, but it seemed impossible. Her thoughts kept circling back to Simon, to the way he had looked at her with that distant gaze—like he was always just out of reach, even when he was right there. She still wasn’t sure what she wanted from him, but the more she thought about him, the more her heart pulled in two directions. She couldn’t escape the feeling that maybe, just maybe, there was something deeper between them than she cared to admit.

But before she could fully process her thoughts, her phone rang, breaking the silence in her room. The name on the screen was enough to make her stomach churn. It was Alexander.

Her first instinct was to ignore it. After all, he had betrayed her in the worst way possible. The image of him tangled with that woman—the way he had said her name—was burned into her mind. She had barely been able to get out of there, and the anger had followed her like a shadow ever since.

But, for reasons she couldn’t explain, Ciel answered the call. Maybe it was because she wanted some closure, or maybe she just needed to hear him speak, to hear him take responsibility for the devastation he had caused.

“Ciel,” Alexander’s voice crackled through the phone, and she immediately regretted answering. “I… I know I don’t deserve to ask this, but I need to talk to you.”

The tone of his voice made her heart ache despite herself. His words were laced with guilt, and for a fleeting moment, it almost sounded like he was truly sorry. But it didn’t matter.

“Don’t,” she interrupted, her voice steady but cold. “I don’t want to hear it, Alexander. Not right now.”

There was a long pause, and she could almost picture him on the other end of the line, his face twisted in regret. But it wasn’t enough. Regret didn’t undo what he had done.

“I was wrong,” he finally said, his voice quiet, as though unsure of how to proceed. “I made a mistake, and I hurt you. I know I can’t fix it, but I want to try. Please, let me explain.”

Ciel took a deep breath, the ache in her chest growing. She wasn’t sure if she was more angry at him or at herself for still caring, for still hearing the apology he was giving. But she couldn’t let herself be swayed by it.

“No,” she said firmly, her voice cutting through the static of the call. “You don’t get to explain yourself. You’ve already shown me who you are. I don’t need an explanation, Alexander. I need you to stay away from me.”

The words tasted bitter on her tongue, but they were necessary. The more she thought about what had happened—about the woman, about the betrayal—the more she realized how deeply it had cut her. Alexander hadn’t just cheated on her; he had broken something inside her. Something she wasn’t sure she could ever fix.

“Ciel…” His voice broke, and there was an edge of desperation in it now. “Please. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll make it right.”

She closed her eyes, blocking out the pain his words caused. “No,” she repeated, her voice resolute. “You had your chance, Alexander. It’s over.”

And with that, she ended the call.

For a long moment, she stood there in silence, the weight of her decision settling over her like a heavy blanket. It felt final, in a way. But at the same time, it felt like there was so much more to unpack, so many emotions left unresolved. She had just ended a relationship that had once meant everything to her, and yet it felt like she was walking away from something that was already lost.

Her thoughts shifted back to Simon. She thought about the way he had looked at her in the suite the night before, how their connection, however fleeting, still lingered in her mind. He was so emotionally distant, so closed off, but there was something about him that called to her. Maybe it was because he had become an escape from the pain Alexander had caused. Maybe it was because he was the only person who hadn’t betrayed her, who hadn’t broken her trust.

But was that really a reason to hold on to the connection they had? Was it just a rebound? Or could there be something more between them?

Ciel pressed her hand to her forehead, feeling the headache building at her temples. She had no answers—only more questions, and the uncertainty was eating away at her. She had wanted space from Simon, but now she wasn’t sure if that was the right decision. She didn’t even know what she wanted anymore, and that scared her.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed again, and her heart skipped in her chest. She didn’t even need to look at the screen to know who it was. Simon.

For a moment, she hesitated. Her fingers hovered over the screen, unsure of what to do. But before she could decide, the call ended, and a message appeared in its place.

Simon: “I didn’t mean to make things complicated between us. I know you need space, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

Her breath caught in her throat. The message was simple, but it struck her with such force that it left her reeling. Simon, the man who had kept her at arm’s length, who had made it clear that he didn’t want any emotional attachments, was now reaching out to her in his own way. He wasn’t offering her an easy way out, but he was offering something. A lifeline, perhaps? Or was it just another way for him to keep her hooked, even when he wasn’t ready to give her anything real?

Ciel stared at the screen, her finger hovering over the reply button. But she didn’t know what to say. What could she say? She had just ended a long relationship with Alexander, and now she was questioning everything about her feelings for Simon.

The truth was, she didn’t know what she was looking for. She didn’t know if she was seeking closure or just something to fill the empty space inside her. She didn’t know if Simon could give her what she needed, or if she even wanted him to. But one thing was certain—she couldn’t keep living in this emotional chaos. She needed to figure things out, even if it meant facing the uncomfortable truth about herself and her feelings.

She put the phone down, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She couldn’t keep going in circles. She needed to find clarity, and she needed to do it alone.

Ciel stared at the screen of her phone, the message from Simon lingering in the air like a ghost. She could still feel the weight of Alexander’s voice in her ears, the lingering ache from their call pulsing in her chest. She knew she couldn’t keep avoiding the truth. She needed answers—answers about her emotions, about Simon, and about herself.

She had ended things with Alexander, but the act of doing so felt like the closing of a door that led into a dark hallway she wasn’t prepared to walk down. She had loved him, deeply and fiercely, but now that love felt like a shadow—a memory that would never quite let go. And Simon… she didn’t know what to make of him.

Simon had always been a mystery. She had known him for years, ever since she had met him through her brother-in-law. At first, he had been the older, enigmatic figure who seemed almost untouchable. He exuded confidence in a way that both intrigued and intimidated her. His presence, when he entered a room, was almost magnetic, and yet, there was an underlying distance in his demeanor that told everyone around him to stay back. He had always kept himself apart from her, emotionally unavailable, and Ciel had respected that distance. She had never pushed him, never tried to pry into the walls he had built around himself.

But everything had changed the night they had shared that moment in the private suite. She hadn’t expected it to happen—she had been vulnerable, lost, seeking solace from the pain of Alexander’s betrayal. And then Simon had appeared, unexpectedly and uninvited, and the night had spiraled out of her control. She had kissed him, and the world had spun in a way that had made her forget everything—Alexander, the engagement, the pain.

And now, this. The message from Simon. His words had been different from his usual detached, almost cold nature. It was clear he was acknowledging something had changed between them, though neither of them had ever spoken about it.

Her thumb hovered over the reply button, and she chewed on her lip, trying to make sense of the conflicting emotions inside her. She had no idea what to do next.

The phone buzzed again, interrupting her thoughts. This time, it wasn’t Simon. It was a notification from her mother, checking in on how things were going with the wedding preparations. Ciel hadn’t told her parents about the breakup yet. She hadn’t been able to find the words, let alone the courage. She knew that once she told them, there would be no going back, and the pressure from all sides would feel suffocating. She didn’t want their pity, didn’t want to explain the mess her life had become.

Her mother’s message was light-hearted and casual, asking about her day and whether she needed any help with the final touches for the wedding. The wedding that was no longer happening.

Ciel’s fingers tightened around the phone. She felt the walls of her carefully constructed life starting to crumble. Nothing was going the way she had imagined. There was no grand wedding to look forward to, no happily-ever-after with Alexander. She had been living in a bubble, blind to the cracks in her relationship until it was too late.

She glanced back down at the message from Simon, her heart beating faster now. The truth was, she wasn’t ready to let him go either. But what was this connection? Was it just a fleeting moment of emotional vulnerability, a product of her pain and confusion? Or was it something real?

Ciel stood up, pacing the room, as her mind raced. She couldn’t keep living in this limbo, this state of emotional confusion. She needed clarity. She needed to figure out what she was really feeling and why.

Her thoughts turned to Simon again. Despite his emotional distance, despite the walls he kept up around himself, there was something undeniably magnetic about him. And now that they had crossed a line, things would never be the same. She didn’t know if it was love or lust, or if she was just desperate for any sense of connection after the devastation of her breakup. But there was something there—something that couldn’t be ignored.