Chapter 4

Alexander opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He just stood there, his expression a mixture of regret and confusion, unable to comprehend the depth of her decision. But Ciel didn’t wait for him to find the words. She turned and walked away, her brothers silently following her.

As she reached the door, she stopped and glanced back at the man who had once been her world. He didn’t move. He didn’t try to stop her. He just stood there, defeated, the echo of her departure the only sound in the room.

Once outside, Ciel let out a shaky breath, her legs nearly giving way beneath her. The tears she had been holding back finally began to fall, hot and bitter against her skin. But they were no longer tears of regret. They were tears of release, of letting go. It was over. And while the pain was unbearable, Ciel knew it was the only way forward.

Her brothers stayed close by her side, offering her their quiet support, their presence a steady comfort as she faced the hardest decision of her life.

The cool morning light filtered through the blinds, casting soft shadows across the plush bed where Ciel lay, her mind a whirlwind of confusion. The events of the previous night felt like a blur, a series of fragmented images and emotions that didn’t quite connect. The kiss with Simon. The heat between them. The way his touch had made her forget everything she was running from, including the pain of betrayal.

She sighed heavily, turning over and burying her face in the pillow. The weight of the past few days had settled heavily on her shoulders, and she wasn’t sure which part of her hurt more—the betrayal from Alexander, or the undeniable pull she felt toward Simon, a pull she had never expected.

Ciel had known Simon for years, and yet, until that moment, she had never seen him like this. The chemistry that had erupted between them the night before was electric, undeniable. But now, in the harsh light of day, she couldn’t help but wonder: Was it just the desperation of a woman betrayed, looking for anything to fill the emptiness left by her broken engagement? Or was there something more? Something deeper between her and Simon that had been lurking beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to surface?

She didn’t want to admit it, but the truth was that Simon had always been different. He had a way of drawing her in, of making her feel things she couldn’t explain. When he had kissed her, it was like a wall inside her had crumbled. For the first time in what felt like forever, she had felt alive. But was that enough to build something real?

Ciel sat up in bed, pulling her knees to her chest as her mind raced. She remembered the warmth of Simon’s body against hers, the way he had kissed her like he had all the time in the world. And yet, there had been something about his touch that felt almost detached—like he was there, but not completely present. She knew Simon was always somewhat reserved, a man of few words and even fewer emotional revelations. Was she just another distraction for him, something to occupy his time while he navigated his own demons?

Her stomach churned at the thought, the guilt creeping in. Was she using Simon as a rebound? A way to escape the crushing weight of her heartache over Alexander? The rational part of her screamed that it was just a moment of weakness, a lapse in judgment caused by her own vulnerability. But then there was the other part of her—the part that craved Simon’s presence, that wanted to explore the connection between them, to see where it could lead.

“I can’t keep doing this,” Ciel muttered to herself, her voice raw with uncertainty. “I can’t keep running from one man to another. It’s not fair to Simon. And it’s not fair to me.”

But then, in the silence of her thoughts, another truth emerged. She didn’t feel like running anymore. Not from the hurt, not from the confusion. Not from Simon. For once, she didn’t feel like hiding behind her past or the expectations of what she was supposed to do. The thought of facing Alexander again made her skin crawl, and yet Simon’s presence, his steady gaze, his quiet intensity—those things made her feel like she could breathe again, like she could start to piece herself back together.

She needed to think. She needed time to figure out what this attraction was, whether it was just the aftermath of a broken heart or something deeper, something real. But one thing was clear—she couldn’t ignore Simon, not anymore. She had to confront her feelings, even if it meant facing the consequences.

Just as Ciel stood from the bed, the door to her room creaked open, and she looked up to find Simon standing in the doorway. His golden eyes seemed to see right through her, though he said nothing at first. He just stood there, waiting, his presence filling the space between them.

"I figured you'd be up by now," Simon said softly, his voice low and warm, as though he were carefully measuring every word. "We need to talk."

Ciel swallowed hard, her pulse quickening at the sight of him. There was a tension in the air, an unspoken understanding that neither of them could avoid any longer. She nodded slowly, though her mind still swirled with conflicting emotions.

“Come in,” she finally said, her voice steady despite the storm inside her. “We have a lot to talk about.”

Simon stepped inside, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He was dressed in casual clothes now, but the faint trace of last night’s passion still lingered in his gaze, making her heart skip a beat. He walked toward her with a purposeful stride, stopping just a few feet away. His eyes were searching, almost as though he were waiting for her to make the first move.

“I didn’t mean for things to get... complicated,” Simon began, his voice quieter now, almost as though he were hesitant to speak. “I don’t want to make you feel like you’re just... a rebound. That was never my intention.”

Ciel’s heart skipped, her mind reeling at his words. She had expected him to avoid the subject or maybe brush it off as something casual, but Simon was more sincere than that. He was offering her an olive branch, a chance to confront the reality of what had happened between them.

“I know,” she said softly, her gaze dropping to her hands. “I don’t want to be that, Simon. I don’t want to be anyone’s rebound.”

He stepped closer, his voice more insistent now. “You’re not just a rebound, Ciel. I don’t know what’s going on with us, but I do know that what happened between us last night... it meant something. I don’t know what it is yet, but I can’t ignore it.”

Ciel’s breath caught in her throat. His words were like a balm to the raw, torn pieces of her heart, but they also left her more uncertain than ever. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, this was more than a fleeting moment. But she was scared. Scared that she was just clinging to the first thing that made her feel alive again after everything with Alexander.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” Ciel admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know if this is... us. Or if it’s just me trying to fix myself after everything that happened.”

Simon reached out, gently cupping her chin and lifting her gaze to meet his. “I’m not asking for answers right now, Ciel. I’m just here, for whatever this is. For you.”

Ciel’s heart fluttered, and in that moment, she realized that the pull she felt toward Simon was far more than just physical. There was something deeper—something that terrified her. But maybe, just maybe, it was something worth exploring.

Ciel’s gaze lingered on Simon’s face, searching for any hint of dishonesty, any trace of a game he might be playing. But there was nothing. His golden eyes held nothing but sincerity, and Ciel felt her resolve waver, even as her mind screamed for caution. She had spent years building a life around stability and control, yet here she was, on the precipice of something chaotic and unexpected.

The room was quiet for a moment, only the soft hum of the city outside and the steady beat of their hearts filling the space between them. Simon gently let go of her chin, his fingers lingering for a second longer than necessary, a silent promise of connection.

“I never thought it would come to this,” Ciel finally murmured, looking down at her hands, twisting her fingers together. “You and me, I mean. After everything...”

Simon’s expression softened, his voice low but with a hint of warmth. “I know. I never expected it either.”

She hesitated, unsure of how to approach the weight of her next question. The history she shared with Simon was complex, layered with unspoken words and moments that had shaped their current relationship. It wasn’t just about the tension that had always simmered between them—it was the truth of their long, shared history.

“How long have we known each other, Simon?” Ciel asked, looking up at him, her voice quiet but deliberate.

Simon’s lips quirked, as if surprised by the sudden shift in the conversation. “A long time, Ciel. Too long to be answering this kind of question so easily.” He paused, and the smile on his face faded into something more contemplative, more serious. “I’ve known you since you were a kid. You were always... different from the others in the family. More reserved, but still strong. You didn’t give in to what was expected of you.”

Ciel swallowed hard at the mention of her childhood. It had always been a mix of expectations and responsibilities, a constant pressure that she was the one who had to hold everything together. Even as a young girl, she had always felt out of place among her more boisterous, carefree relatives. But Simon? He had never treated her like she was different or too reserved. Instead, he had always seen her. He was quiet, too, a man of few words, but he understood her in a way that no one else did.

“And you,” Ciel said, taking a deep breath. “You’ve always been there. Not in the obvious way, but in the background. Watching, waiting. I’ve never been able to figure you out. You kept to yourself, even when we were all together.”

Simon chuckled softly, but there was a trace of something darker in his eyes as he nodded. “Yeah, well, I’m not the type to blend in. I don’t like to be in the spotlight, especially not in that big, loud family of yours.” He ran a hand through his hair, his gaze flickering to the floor as though lost in a memory. “I kept to myself, but I watched you. You were always... different from your brothers. I guess I was drawn to that.”

Ciel’s heart tightened at the thought. Simon had always been a mystery to her, but he had been watching her, observing her from a distance, long before this moment. He had seen her when she hadn’t even realized how much she needed someone to notice her.

They were quiet for a moment, the weight of their shared history hanging in the air like a delicate thread connecting them. Then Simon spoke again, his voice softer, almost hesitant.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” he asked, his eyes meeting hers with a piercing intensity. “It wasn’t the way you might think.”

Ciel furrowed her brow, confused. “The first time we met? We’ve known each other our entire lives.”

Simon shook his head slightly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “No. Not really. We were always in the same room, always in the same family, but the first time we really met... was different. You were about fifteen, I think, and you were sitting alone in the garden. I remember it clearly, the way you were staring at the roses like they had all the answers. You didn’t see me, but I saw you. You were so... lost, like you were trying to figure something out that no one else could understand.”

Ciel blinked, surprised by the vivid memory. She had completely forgotten about that afternoon, but now, as Simon spoke, it came rushing back. She had been so frustrated then, so overwhelmed by everything that was expected of her, the pressure of being the perfect daughter, the perfect future fiancée.

“I don’t remember you being there,” she said softly. “But I guess I must have been lost in my thoughts. I didn’t feel like I belonged, even back then.”

Simon nodded, his voice low. “I know. You always seemed like you were trying to figure out who you were in a world that had already decided for you.”