Chapter 3 : I Don't Have Where To Go

Chapter 3: I Don't Have Where To Go

Callan

At some point, I eat a small piece of bread after I was done cleaning what was left on the table. I am not really hungry anymore, just disgusted with myself. As always, I managed to mess up and ruin his mood. When it is not cooking, it is the shirt I burned or left too wrinkled or the apartment that isn't tidy enough. Or a letter I forgot to mail, sometimes, I wonder how he bears with my uselessness. I am not particularly looking forward to him coming back even if I know I deserve whatever punishment he will come up with. I just curl up into one of the armchairs and hug myself tightly. The burn on my arm still stings a little, I think it will leave a mark for a few days.

Eventually, he came back home an hour later and I was terrified when I looked into his eyes. They don't look angry anymore, but they have this vicious twinkle I have come to hate as of late.

“Callan? Pet, Come here.” He said in a falsely comforting voice.

I know staying where I am will only make it worse, so I get up and walk towards him. His breath reeks of alcohol which only scares me more.

“I think you owe me an apology?”

“I am really sorry I ruined the dinner, Asher.” I said softly.

“Please, forgive me.” I added.

“Oh, I didn't mean an apology like this.” He chuckled.

“You should be on your knees and your mouth should be put to different use.”

I know perfectly well the kind of apology he has in mind and I would rather be doing anything else.

“Please, Asher.” I begged but didn't have time to finish since he interrupted me with a barely slap that made my head turn to the highest degree.

“On your knee, now!” He barked in a loud voice.

“And don't make me repeat myself.”

I comply since he is going to get what he wants in the end, obeying now will avoid some unwanted bruises. I was already crying when he lowered his zipper.

“Keep looking at me and open.” He ordered and just like that, he shoved his semi-hard dick down my throat.

This wouldn't be a problem if he was thrusting in and out of my mouth. Even if he is very well endowed, he is not at his full length for now, so I can completely take it. But you can only relax your gag reflex for so long and he is getting aroused by this. In the end, your body ends up finding there is a problem and wants to get rid of the alien object bushing against your uvula. Except it can't in my case, because he is strongly holding my head with both hands. I began to gag horribly, almost throwing up and my eyes water with new tears. This only excites him more which gets him harder and worsens my gagging problem. My pleading eyes are met with his vicious gaze. He knows I hate this, but he is still doing it to me. This is his favorite way of punishing me when I do something bad. After what seems like an eternity, he finally pulls out and I try to catch my breath, coughing and spitting a bit of reflux on the floor.

“Please?” I pleaded again when I could talk, that earned me a slap on the other cheek.

“Stop begging and go kneel against the wall.”

I crawl there, sobbing and take the position he asked me to. I didn't close my eyes because I knew that would earn me another slap, so I had to see him come towards me in a predatory way.

“Good, slut.” He said, putting his hands on both sides of my head and pushing it against the wall.

“That is the only thing you are good at in the end, stop complaining and apologize properly.”

With this words, the torture began again. His dick is now at his full size, so having it completely shoved down my mouth is even more horrible. At first, he stays in for at least a few seconds each time he hits the back of my throat, making me glad and retch. I hate the intrusion in my throat and the fact I can't do anything about it. Bits of vomit drip down my chin and at some point it even goes through my nose after a particular horrible gag. Then his excitement takes over and he just fuck my face until he finally unload into my mouth.

“Clean the mess before you go to sleep on the couch.” He ordered while he walked into the bathroom.

I heard him take a shower and then go to bed while I was still trying to get myself back together. I can't believe this happened again. I much prefer when he simply hits me or takes me hard, this is the worst. Even the few times he just peed inside my mouth and forced me to swallow were better than this. At least, he didn't tie me up tonight like the time I spent the whole night with my arms attached to the wall. When he woke up the next morning and his breakfast wasn't ready, I got another round of this awful sanction. I tried to explain to him that I couldn't have done anything since I had been restrained but he just told me that it was my fault I had been punished anyway.

When I could finally stand up and move, I removed my shírt and my sweatpants. They were covered with reflux stains so I will have to clean them tomorrow. I get up and slowly drink a glass of water to try to remove the horrible taste in my mouth and then I mop the floor and take a quick shower after everything is cleaned up. How did our relationship slowly degrade to this state? Is it because I kept asking him to be rougher with me? At first, I just loved how he would just take me harder and harder until he stopped listening to me when I said it was too hard. Or is it because I am so inept? I know I fucked up often witt all the chores but there are just so many. And I try to do my best, that should count for something. I know this is wrong, I am stupid but not that dense. I know he shouldn't do those things to me, I know I should report him or flee.

But where? My parents don't want to see me again and would probably make my life even more miserable if I went back to them. I have no money, no job. I am so useless that I couldn't even get one, so I endure this. Most days it is okay, when I manage not to get him too badly. Sometimes it gets a little bit out of control like tonight. Perhaps, the most stupid and pathetic thing in all of this, I think as I silently walk to our room is that despite all Asher does to me, I still love him so much. I slowly open the door and peek inside, only getting in when I heard his heavy breathing telling me he is asleep. The curtains are still open and the moon fills the room with a bit of light that allows me to see his perfect face, calm and peaceful. I only get to see this side of him when he sleeps and even if there is going to be hell to pay if he finds me here. I can't resist staring at him for the longest time.

When eventually, fear of him waking up beats the feeling of tranquility I get and loving gazing at his face, I give a small peck to his forehead and then I go back to the couch where he banished me.