Chapter 5: Joanna’POV
The day of the meeting came faster than I had expected.
I looked up at the mirror, at myself in a deep navy silk dress. What caught my eye were the freckles on my face and the long brown waves tumbling past my shoulders.
Sebastian always liked to press his nose into the curve of my neck first thing in the morning, breathing in slow and deep, murmuring in my ear: "Your hair smells like sunshine and honey."
I would laugh, turn over and kiss him, and he would pull me closer, and for those few seconds the whole world was just the weight of his body against mine and the slow rhythm of our breathing.
While I was still lost in the memory, my phone rang. It was my good friend Sia.
"Joanna, is everything okay? Don't worry about the medical exam—I've already swapped out all the results. No one will find out." I could hear the unease in her voice. "But Joanna, I can only do this once. If they demand a recheck—"
"They won't. Thank you so much, Sia," I replied.
"Honestly, I'm worried about you." Sia paused. "If you want, come to my place. We'll figure it out together. You don't have to face this alone."
I felt the warmth in her words, but I didn't want to drag her into trouble.
"Please don't worry. I'll handle it." I tried to make my voice sound light.
After hanging up, my hand drifted, unbidden, to my still-flat abdomen.
A thought flickered through my mind. Maybe Lucian would be a reasonable man. Maybe he, too, didn't want a marriage with no choice in it. I prayed.
I turned and went downstairs.
My father looked me over and gave a slight nod. "Good. Remember who you are. You are an Ashford daughter. You will conduct yourself with the dignity and grace befitting this family."
I looked at my father's cold face, and a wave of sorrow rose inside me.
This man, this man I once idolized—what was I in his eyes?
I followed silently behind him toward the black sedan parked at the entrance.
The car drove to the most exclusive private club in the city center—The Crescent, a high-end establishment open only to upper-echelon wolf families. Membership was said to be extremely limited.
But for the Ashford family, a place like this always had its doors open.
We were led through a corridor paneled in dark wood, past a lounge where I could smell cigar smoke, aged whiskey, and the faint, unmistakable musk of Alpha wolves at ease in their territory, and into a private dining room at the far end of the hall.
Lucian Silvermoon was already there.
Golden-haired, brown-eyed, handsome as a magazine cover model. His shirt fit him perfectly, the fabric pulling taut across his shoulders and chest, and I could feel his Alpha energy, making the hair on my arms stand up.
He rose and shook my father's hand, his movements graceful and unhurried.
"Lucian." My father grasped his hand, a rare smile on his face. "How is your father?"
"Very well, thank you. He asked me to send his regards."
"And this must be Miss Joanna." Lucian turned to me, a polite smile at the corners of his mouth, and held out his hand.
"Mr. Lucian, a pleasure to meet you." I shook his hand politely.
His hand was warm and firm, and his manner indeed spoke of good breeding.
A small spark of hope lit inside me—could it be that he, too, was unwilling to be placed in an arranged marriage?
Perhaps he was running the same calculations I was—how to end this engagement gracefully.
Maybe, once my father left the room, Lucian would lean forward and say, "Look, let's be honest with each other," and we would reach an agreement over expensive wine—neither of us was interested, and that would be that.
After the aperitifs, my father set down his glass and glanced at his pocket watch.
"Take your time, you two," he said, standing, his tone flat. "I'm going upstairs to see an old friend. Lucian, have the driver take Joanna home when dinner is finished."
"Of course, Uncle Roger. Take your time."
I knew what he was doing—giving us privacy. After my father left, it was just Lucian and me in the room.
"Would you like to order?" Lucian gestured toward the leather-bound menu. "The steak here is excellent."
"No, thank you." I folded my hands in my lap and looked at him. "Mr. Lucian, I think we should get straight to the point."
"Of course." He nodded. "I appreciate your directness."
I was about to speak, but Lucian spoke first. "Miss Joanna, before we discuss the arrangement, there's something I'd like to clarify."
I blinked. "What is it?"
"Sebastian. I understand he was your mate?"
My body went rigid instantly. Why bring him up now? What was he trying to do?
"What does that have to do with our arrangement?"
"Miss Joanna, Sebastian betrayed his pack."
"Sebastian is not a traitor." The words left my mouth before I could stop them.
Lucian frowned, and I could feel his displeasure. I explained, "There are some misunderstandings about the situation. That's all."
"Misunderstandings?" he replied with a mocking tone.
The steaks arrived. I looked at that pool of red, and a sudden wave of nausea hit me so violently that I had to grip the edge of the table with both hands.
Acid surged up my throat, hot and sour, and I clenched my jaw and forced it back down. I couldn't be sick. I couldn't.
Lucian swirled the wine in his glass and said in a conversational tone, "My father's second Luna—she was beautiful and intelligent. She served as Luna for three years, and everyone agreed she was exceptional."
He paused and took a sip. "Then it came out that she'd been corresponding with her former lover the entire time. She claimed nothing had happened. She was very convincing, actually."
"What happened to her?" The question came out before I could stop it.
Lucian smiled. "My father dissolved the bond publicly. Stripped her title and banished her from the pack in front of the entire assembly." He set down his glass with a soft click.
"Two months later, border patrol found her body in the wasteland. Wild animals had torn her apart. What was left was barely recognizable."
I licked my lips and swallowed hard. The pup growing in my womb belonged to another man.
"I tell you this story because I want you to understand—for the position of Luna, loyalty is the only requirement. Not love, not affection, not compatibility. Loyalty. The rest is negotiable."
I clenched my hands tightly. I understood—he was warning me.
But I had also heard the rumors about him—Lucian was a playboy, constantly surrounded by women, with a new gossip subject nearly every week.
"I understand your meaning, Mr. Lucian." I struggled to keep my voice steady. "Marriage should certainly be a matter of mutual loyalty—it should certainly be built on a foundation of mutual loyalty. But—"
When I tried to express my refusal of the arrangement diplomatically, he cut me off. "Of course, loyalty is mutual. But Miss Joanna, there's something you need to understand." He leaned forward slightly. "An Alpha's privileges are conferred by his position. A Luna's privileges are conferred by her Alpha."
I stared at him, unable to believe what I was hearing.
"The role of Luna is an honor. The cost of that honor is absolute loyalty and obedience. That seems fair, doesn't it?"
Fair? That was simply outrageous.
I thought of Sebastian. I thought of how he always used to ask me what I wanted for dinner, what movie I wanted to watch, whether I was cold, whether I was happy.
I thought of the way he had looked at me—not as an asset, but as a person. The contrast was so violent it almost knocked the air out of my chest.
"That Beta can't give you anything. An ordinary family? A normal life? From what I've heard, he can't even give you that much anymore. So be smart, Joanna. Becoming the future Luna of the Silver Moon pack—do you know how many women would kill for that position?"
My whole body trembled uncontrollably, and I held back the urge to slap him.
If I married Lucian, if he discovered the pup wasn't his—
What would he do to me? No, I didn't need to imagine. He had already told me the answer.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Lucian, but I think there are a few misunderstandings I need to correct." I said, my voice sharp with anger.
Lucian raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised that I would push back.
"First, an alliance is not a charity. The Ashford family's standing does not need to be sustained by gratitude." My lips were trembling, and I felt as though my lungs were about to burst.
"Second, what you call fairness, I call an insult to the institution of marriage."
"Joanna—" His voice dropped low, laced with a warning.
I was past the point of holding back. I had intended to refuse this marriage from the start—so what was there left to worry about?
"You said that Beta couldn't give me anything." I cut him off, and the burning in my chest was so intense I half-expected to see smoke rising from my skin. "But Mr. Lucian, he gave me the most precious thing in this world."
I stood up and looked down at him. "Sincerity."
"So I'm sorry," I drew one long, steadying breath, "but I'm refusing this arrangement."
"Do you understand the consequences of refusing this arrangement?" His voice was low and dangerous.
"Your father will not agree. He needs this alliance to consolidate the family's position, to open commercial routes through the northern corridor. Do you really think you can defy him alone?"
Chapter 8: Joanna's POV
My heart lurched into my throat. I didn't go in—I pressed myself into the shadow behind the door, held my breath, and listened.
A short silence.
"Anna went through a bond severance, and her wolf abandoned her. After she ran, I learned that she was pregnant. I'll admit—I hurt her before, and for that, I'm sorry."
My fingernails bit into my palms, and the pain shot up my wrists.
Sorry? He said sorry? The word coming out of his mouth was as absurd as hearing a wolf announce it had gone vegetarian.
And he actually didn't know I was pregnant?
All this time I had believed he knew everything, that the milk had been his calculated move to kill the baby inside me. But the truth was, he hadn't found out until I was already gone.
What he said next stunned me—
"If this pregnancy fails, her body, in its current condition, will very likely never conceive again. And it's a boy. I will not gamble the Ashford bloodline on that risk."
A boy. Never conceive again. The two facts crashed into me at once, and for a second the hallway tilted sideways.
"Mr. Ashford, Lucian will never allow her to carry another man's pup. You know the Silver Moon pack's rules better than I do." Diana's voice cut through the ringing in my ears. "She doesn't want to go back. I have no reason to force her."
"In our circle, family outweighs blood—a concept you wouldn't understand." My father's tone softened with a lecturing kind of patience. "Let me be frank with you. The Ashford name has not yet sunk so low that anyone can dictate terms to us. I didn't need to convince Lucian. I traded two of our arsenals to make Lucian's father accept this pup."
I leaned against the wall. I could not reconcile it—this was the same man who had locked me in a room for days, who had watched coldly from the courtroom, who had never once asked me, Are you all right?
And now he had put on the table the most valuable chips the Ashford family possessed, to buy my and Sebastian's pup a place inside the Silver Moon pack.
He wasn't doing it for me. I knew he wasn't doing it for me. He was doing it for the heir, for the Ashford surname to carry on.
"And what about Joanna? Have you considered how she feels?"
"When you have a family legacy of your own to protect, you can lecture me about feelings."
In that moment, I snuffed out the last surviving thread of maybe he still loves me in my heart.
"I won't let you take Joanna." Diana's voice was steady.
A brief silence.
My father sighed. "Diana, you're a good kid. When you were bullied at school, it was Anna who stood up for you. I remember that, and I understand why you want to help her." He paused.
"But you still have Tommy and Lily to think about. If this unlicensed clinic of yours were to be discovered..."
I stood behind the door, every muscle locked. Diana's parents had died years ago. This unlicensed little clinic was the only livelihood she had to support her younger siblings.
If it was reported, it wouldn't end at a shut door—Diana would go to prison. Tommy and Lily would be sent into the foster system. They'd be separated. They'd lose each other. My father had calculated everything with precision. He always did.
I was almost certain Diana would fold. Any rational person would bend under a threat like that—it wasn't a question of courage, it was a question of survival. I would not blame her. I would never, ever blame her.
"No, Mr. Ashford." Her voice was shaking. "If I let you take Joanna today, I will hate myself for the rest of my life."
The tears came then—soundless, scalding.
I knew that Diana could stand against my father, but she could not stand against the entire system. He hadn't torn the gloves off today, but that didn't mean he wouldn't tomorrow. One anonymous phone call was all it would take, and Diana's entire world would collapse.
She had protected me. But if I stayed, I was the one destroying her with my own hands.
At last my father sighed again. "Have it your way. But there's one thing you can pass along to her—her mother is awake."
My heartbeat tripped and stopped for a full count. My lips were trembling. My chin was trembling. My whole face was trembling.
"The reason I didn't go to find her myself is that her body, in its current state, can't withstand another forced removal. But she deserves to know. Her mother's condition is stable—and she has been asking many times where Anna is."
Mom was looking for me. She had woken up, and the first thing she thought of was where I was.
I sucked in a deep breath and dragged my sleeve across my face—tears, snot, everything smearing into a mess on my hand, but I didn't have time to care. I pushed the clinic door open.
Diana and my father both turned to look at me at the same time.
"I agree to go home with you," I said.
Diana's voice shot up. "Anna—"
I shook my head and looked at her. "Thank you, Diana. This isn't your fault. I'm sorry."
My father's gaze dropped to my abdomen. "That's an Ashford daughter."
I clenched my teeth, the soreness spreading from the roots all the way up to my temples, and said nothing.
"The Silver Moon pack has already been brought on board. Lucian won't dare try anything—his father will keep him in line. Once the first trimester is safely behind you, you'll have the wedding. His father will make him claim the pup as his own."
A wedding. To a man who did not love me. A double-standard playboy. He would stand in front of everyone and claim another man's pup as his own. Sebastian's pup.
Did Lucian know that all of this was a transaction? An Alpha forced to swallow that kind of humiliation—how would he claw back his pride?
I looked at my father's profile and suddenly felt that this was simply replacing this small clinic with a bigger cage.
But my mother was there. She needed me. And Diana's younger siblings needed her too.
I walked to Diana, close enough to see the wet shimmer in her eyes. "Take care of Tommy and Lily."
Then I turned and followed my father out.
Back at the Ashford estate, my mother was waiting for me in the upstairs bedroom. She had lost a lot of weight, propped against the headboard. She looked very frail, but the moment she saw me, her eyes lit up.
"Anna... my Anna..." I threw myself at her, nuzzled my face against hers, and buried it in the hollow of her thin shoulder, breathing in the faint scent of chamomile soap that still clung to her skin.
We stayed like that for a long time.
When I finally lifted my head, she smoothed my messy hair back for me. "Your father told me everything. The baby—it's Sebastian's?"
"Yes, mom." I didn't hesitate. "I love Sebastian, and I will never be able to love anyone else."
She was quiet for a few seconds. "Oh, Joanna... marrying a man you don't love is one of the most painful things a woman can endure." She looked so worried that my chest ached.
"I know, mom. But I have to bring this pup into the world, no matter what it costs me," I said softly, my hand resting on my belly.
The silence stretched for a long time. Outside the window, the setting sun stained the entire room a warm orange.
"Joanna..." My mother began hesitantly.
She looked into my eyes and tightened her grip on my hand. "Have you ever thought about... going to live with another pack?"
My heartbeat quickened.
Of course I had thought about it—I had thought about it countless times. But every time, I had hesitated. Because leaving meant giving up my mother, my friends, everything.
"You don't have to stay here. You could take the baby and leave—go somewhere no one has ever heard the name Ashford. Find Sebastian. Start over." Her voice grew firmer with each sentence.
I looked at her. Her thin face, her pale lips, and those eyes full of love and worry. She was making the decision I was too afraid to make for myself.
"There's still a month before the marriage contract," she said. "We can think it through carefully."
"I know, mom." I nodded, and something slowly filled my heart—not quite hope, but close enough.
"Anna, what more can a mother do? I will arrange everything for you." The corners of her eyes crinkled softly as she smiled at me with warmth.
I glanced down at my belly, then looked back at my mother. This was really going to happen.
"Oh my God! mom, I'm going to take the pup and find Sebastian—I'll tell him that everything that day was Father forcing my hand, that it wasn't my choice—tell him it wasn't my choice! Even if our bond is broken, I'll beg the Moon Goddess to let us be together again!" I said, unable to suppress my smile, excitement surging through me.
My choice would always be him! Mine and the pup's choice would always be him!
Sebastian—the Goddess created him for me. He was my destined mate.
Wait for me. I will find you. Please be my mate again!
"mom, will Sebastian forgive me?" I asked.
Before she could answer, a knock came at the door. Startled, I clamped my mouth shut at once.
The door was pushed open. It was my mother's maid.
She stepped in and said: "Luna, word has just come from the exile grounds—Sebastian Blackwood has escaped. The guards found signs of a struggle and bloodstains at the border, but they haven't found his—"
