Chapter 1: Night Out

Lif's POV

I felt strange, everything felt new, and it's like I was a stranger to myself. The damn deafened music, the dizzying bulbs, the fucking tight dress that clung onto me like a second skin and the unfamiliar touch of a stranger’s hands on my body. Everything was new to me.

I moved to the rhythm, awkwardly swaying, my body stiff with discomfort. I looked at the man I was dancing with, but I didn't feel anything for him, no spark, nothing. His grip rough to my waist, holding me harshly closer to his odored body, and his breath was reek of alcohol which made me wanted to throw up.

I endured all these not because I wanted to, but that's because I couldn't see another man, every man was already taken. But I didn't have a choice, I had to do this, I had already made up my mind that I was going to do it. Tonight, I promised myself that I was going to lose myself completely, get myself drunk and lose my virginity to a stranger. All things I condemned, I would be participating in them tonight.

As I continued to endure the torment inflicted on me by the man, a hand suddenly grabbed my wrist. The grip was so firm and harsh that pain shot through me immediately, making me get angry and wanting to lash at the person. But unfortunately I couldn't see the person's face and I couldn't have the opportunity because I was being dragged along with whoever it was.

The person dragged me through the sea of people, and I found myself stumbling into people, bumping into them while they cursed and hissed at me angrily. I tried to take a peek, at least to have a glimpse of the person who was dragging me, but the colored lights were to my disadvantages.

The person dragged me to the outside of the club house and yanked me forward that I stumbled and almost fall down. I was agitated, with fury boiling inside me.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Who are..." My voice trailed off when I saw who it was, and the anger immediately dissolved, replaced by warmth. “So it's you." I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper. Then I saw as her brows furrowed and her silver eyes shimmered with something I presumed to be anger under the bright full moon light.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing here?" She snapped, her voice dripping with anger.

“What do you think?" I asked in return, smiling faintly. “This is a club and I came to have fun. Is that a crime?" I demanded, staring at her, and saw as a nervous chuckle escaped her lips.

“What?" She gasped in disbelief. “This is so unlike you, Lif. You aren't like this. So how can you suddenly change?" She questioned.

“Then how am I supposed to be?" My voice cracked with frustration. “How am I supposed to behave? You know what? I've been living a pathetic life until now. I have been struggling all these years, working my ass off all because I wanted to live a life my parents refused to give me. I tried to make sure I lived a luxurious life, but where did everything end. All my struggles seem pointless. I..." My voice broke and tears streamed down my face.

She sighed and looked into my eyes, her eyes were dimmed with sympathy. “Are you behaving like this because of what your father told you?" She asked gently. “You don’t know if it’s true, and even if it is, I know you are strong enough to overcome it. So why... Why are you trying to blow everything you have worked so hard for."

“Yes, this is about what my father told me," I agreed. “How do you think I'm going to survive this when It's the truth, and there is no way out. The fact that every woman in my family died at the age of thirty- two is cleared. My mother died the same age, my grand mother died at the same age so did my great grandmother and others. So tell me, what's my gain? I've been working hard all my life, struggling every fucking day, trying to live a good life so that I won't lack anything. But eventually, I won't even live to reap the fruit of all struggles."

“What are your talking about? You are only thirty years, and you still have many years to live."

“Yes, I am thirty years old, which means I too have only two years to live.”

“Lif —” She wanted to reached for me, but I recoiled.

“No,” I cut her off. “I don’t want to die with regrets. I’m going to live that remaining two years. Drink. Dance. Sleep with whoever I want. And for once—just once—I’ll do what I want.”

“You shouldn't..." She wanted to say but I cut her off again.

“You know what? I approached you when we were in college because I thought I could make use of you. That I could use your family connection to get everything I wanted in life, but that doesn't mean my friendship with you is a lie." I said, turning to go, but she grabbed my arm. I turned to her again.“Didn't you hear me? I said I approached you for a reason. Why are you so clingy?" I asked, my voice raising.

“So?" She replied dismissively, making me stare at her questioningly. “I don't give a fuck on that."

“Why?" I managed to mumble.

“Because you are my best friend and I love you. Please don't be like this. I don't want you to throw your life away like this. You have an interview tomorrow, shouldn't you go and prepare for it? You are just some feet away from your dream and you are willing to throw it away because of what your father told you?” She stopped, swallowing in nervous. I could feel her anxiety. “If you go and study for the interview, I'm sure you will be chosen as the general surgeon of your hospital. Isn't that what you wanted. I know you can do this, please let's go back home." She added, almost in tears.

I knew she loved me, and also I loved her as well. We had been friends since college and I cared a lot about her, regardless of my reason for approaching her.

“I'm sorry, Carly. I've already made up my mind. I have to do this." I said and released her grasp from me and went back insid

e, ignoring her calls.