38: Whispers in the Dark
The tense silence in the room was shattered by the sudden buzz of my phone against the wooden desk. My heart leaped into my throat, a chaotic mix of hope and dread churning within me. The screen illuminated with Asher’s name. A single line of text: “Meet me at my dorm.” My breath hitched. A frantic energy surged through me, momentarily eclipsing the heavy weight of guilt and Maya’s worried gaze. He wanted to see me. A desperate, selfish hope flickered within me, a chance to bridge the growing chasm between us, to feel his touch again, to lose myself in the forbidden comfort of his arms. But a cold tendril of fear snaked around my heart. What if this wasn’t a reconciliation? What if this was goodbye?
Now, I stood just inside Asher’s darkened dorm room, the late hour lending an almost clandestine atmosphere. The air was thick with the scent of his familiar musk, already mingling with my own nervous arousal. The absence of Julian, who’d mentioned crashing at Kai’s tonight, the palpable tension between him and Asher too thick to ignore even for him, amplified the charged intimacy of our secret rendezvous, the silence humming with unspoken desires.
Driven by an almost unbearable need for honesty, a desperate yearning to shed the suffocating weight of our lies, I found myself in the hushed darkness of Asher's room, my own body thrumming with a nervous energy that bordered on arousal. The emotional toll of constantly hiding our affair from Julian and Isla had taken its toll, leaving us both frayed and emotionally raw, our raw nerves amplifying every touch, every whispered word.
“I was so scared you didn’t want to see me anymore,” I confessed, my voice barely a whisper in the stillness.
He moved then, a dark shape in the gloom, pulling me roughly into his lap, his arms wrapping around me with a possessive urgency that sent a shiver down my spine. “God no, CeCe. I need you.”
In the safety of the darkness, the carefully constructed facades we’d been maintaining began to crumble, revealing the raw desire that had been simmering beneath the surface, a molten heat threatening to consume us.
“I can’t…” My voice caught, thick with a mixture of guilt and a desperate longing. “I can’t keep doing this, Ash. The guilt… It’s eating me alive. The constant fear of them finding out…” My own nipples hardened beneath my thin shirt as I whispered his name, a silent plea.
His arms tightened around me, his breath hot against my ear, his voice a low rumble that vibrated against my skin. “God, CeCe… It’s been hell. This… wanting you like this, knowing I can’t have you… Not really. It’s been tearing me apart, too.” His hands clenched against my back, then slowly, tentatively, began to move, tracing the curve of my spine. “I haven’t been able to think about anything else. Since the first time I saw you… God, you probably don’t even remember. Middle school, you walked into history class, all sunshine and smiles… and that was it for me. I knew, right then. I wanted you. Mine. But I couldn’t…” His voice trailed off, thick with years of unspoken longing.
“Ash…” My own hands trembled as I reached up, my fingers tangling in the short hair at the nape of his neck.
He pressed his lips to my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine, igniting a familiar heat low in my belly. “Every stolen touch, every secret kiss… It’s like a drug, CeCe. I get a taste, and then I crave more, all the time. This ache…” His hand slipped lower, his fingers brushing the curve of my hip, then dipping lower still, grazing the sensitive swell beneath my jeans, sending a jolt of pure electricity through me.
“I can’t lie anymore, Ash,” I whispered, tears welling in my eyes, my voice thick with emotion, my own body betraying me with a subtle tremor as I rocked against his hardening erection, the friction a desperate plea. “I can’t keep pretending with Julian. It’s tearing me apart. And I think… God, Asher… I think I’ve fallen completely in love with you.”
His lips found mine then, a desperate, hungry kiss. His tongue plunged into my mouth with a possessive urgency that mirrored the insistent throbbing between my legs, a wet ache that only he could truly soothe. My own hands found their way under his shirt, the heat of his skin searing my palms as I ground my core against his burgeoning ridge again, a slick heat blooming between my thighs, staining my panties with my desperate need.
Then, his voice, rough with emotion, broke the kiss, his breath ragged against my lips. “I’m going to break up with Isla. Soon.” His fingers dug into my back, pulling me closer, his hard body pressing against mine, the insistent pressure of his erection a tangible testament to his desire.
My mind raced, the weight of his words settling heavily in the silence, a chaotic mix of relief and a sharp pang of anxiety. I knew, with a chilling certainty, that I needed to do the same with Julian. It wouldn’t be right to keep stringing both men along, to allow the deceit to fester any longer, poisoning everything around us. The realization was a heavy stone in my chest, a physical ache that mirrored the insistent throbbing between my thighs, a wet longing only Asher could truly satisfy.
I knew I needed to end things with Julian, but the fear of hurting him, of witnessing his pain, paralyzed me, even as the memory of Asher’s hard body against mine sent a shiver of anticipation through me, a desperate longing for the feel of him deep inside me, filling the emptiness that ached within. Not that my current deceitful actions aren’t inflicting damage enough… The thought was a sharp, self-inflicted wound, a bitter reminder of my own culpability, a guilt that only Asher’s touch seemed to momentarily alleviate. The darkness, meant to offer solace, now felt thick with the looming consequences of our confessions and the difficult decisions that lay ahead, the air charged with a dangerous mixture of fear and undeniable desire. His hand found the hem of my shirt, his fingers slipping beneath the fabric, his touch sending a jolt of pure electricity through me, erasing all thought but the desperate, undeniable need for him.