Chapter 7: A Bad Hair Day

Hana

I am sitting in a leather armchair, the cold of the room sharply contrasting with the warmth outside. Anxiety courses through me, my nerves threatening to explode at any given moment.

I did my best to clear my mind during those thirty minutes of rigorous questioning for the job I’ve been longing for over the past few months.

But my nervousness isn’t without reason. I blame them. All of them.

Alice, Nathan... John.

They've created an unprecedented mess, leaving me adrift, unsure of how to act or what to say in situations I would have navigated with ease before.

My whole life has been meticulously planned, every detail controlled. That is, until I moved to Atlantic City. Now, I feel like I've lost control of everything.

If my best friend is hiding things from me—like secretly communicating with my ex-boyfriend—it shows just how deceived I was in believing I knew what was happening in my life.

I couldn’t confront her. I just stayed frozen, watching the phone ring, Nathan's name flashing over and over. God, it was torture.

I still don’t know how I managed to hold on to my sanity in that moment.

And God knows how much I wanted to answer that call. Oh, He knows.

But I kept my composure. After all, I don’t know how I would react to what I’m hiding from Nathan. I still don’t know if he should find out, and I don’t want to add one more worry to the pile, even though it’s been weighing on my mind for the last three days.

It makes my hands tremble. I feel the sweat forming and quickly wipe it on the fabric of my navy-blue dress. I slipped on a blazer to cover the daring neckline, but now I’m struggling with the buttons, which seem to pop open by themselves.

Beth has been kind, though she can be tough at times. Still, I hope I’ve done enough to secure this position. It’s an amazing opportunity as a writing assistant, far beyond anything I expected to achieve.

But something is off. She hasn't mentioned the hiring company at all, since she’s just an intermediary. From the first contact we had over the phone, Beth has insisted that I would only learn about the company after signing the contract.

It feels risky, but the location, salary, and benefits make the offer irresistible. It’s almost too good to be true.

I watch Beth return from a phone call that lasted just long enough for me to think she was discussing my performance.

She looks more serious than before, and my heart sinks. I’m too anxious to hope for the best; all I want is to escape. But I don’t want to look crazy, so I force myself to act normal.

I’ve been doing this for days. I’m good at pretending. I learned from the best—my parents.

“Sorry for the delay, Hana. My boss was eager to talk to me,” she says as she rearranges some papers on her desk and pulls one sheet to the side.

Beth fills in some information and slides it across the desk with a purple pen for me to complete.

“Is this it? Did I pass?” I ask, excitement creeping into my voice, which makes her smile.

She nods, and I almost jump out of my seat in joy.

“I’m sure you’ll do great, Hana. Your writing sample was impressive,” she continues, reviewing my work right in front of me. I can hardly believe what I’m hearing.

Eagerly, I take the contract and skim through it, curious about the company that will be my first employer. But as I reach the top of the page, my smile slowly fades.

Desire Magazine. The same company that Nathan works for. Nathan Torres, you bastard.

I can’t understand what he’s trying to do. Did he recommend that I regain my trust? Or is this just another game he and Alice are playing by keeping secrets from me? I don’t know what to think anymore. All I know is this: I’m done with this.

I rise from the chair, contract still in hand, and Beth watches me in surprise, unsure of how to react to my sudden outburst.

“Hana, what’s going on?”

“Was Nathan the one who recommended me for this job? Has he been talking to you since I got here?” I demand.

“My boss requests discretion, Hana,” she replies nonchalantly, as if she doesn’t understand the reason for my frustration. “You should just focus on the opportunity, join Desire.”

“Tell your boss to be a man and come face me himself,” I snap before storming out of the HR office.

Anger seizes me, and my mind races with thoughts of what crazy thing I could do to make Nathan understand that he can’t fix everything. He acts like revealing his infidelity on graduation night is something I can just forgive. He’s delusional, thinking his pitiful phone calls are enough to earn my forgiveness.

And now this. Offering me a job like I’m some poor soul in need of his charity.

It’s pathetic. The more I think about it, the stronger the urge to confront him becomes. I grab a taxi with no real destination in mind, lost in thought.

My phone vibrates in my purse, and I don't have to guess who it is. It’s Nathan, just like the past few days—either calling or sending dozens of messages begging to meet, trying to justify his actions.

I don’t answer. I don’t want to hear another one of his rehearsed apologies. I want him to face the consequences of what he’s done. So, I open the app we used to share and check Nathan’s schedule. I see that he has a lunch meeting, and I’m very close to the restaurant. The timing couldn’t be better.

I know him. I know he’s annoyingly punctual, so he’s probably already on his way. As I make this decision, I realize I might be making a huge mistake. But I need to end this. Nathan can’t think he’ll still be part of my life after everything he’s done.

I have all the details—his reserved table and the password for guests.

I don’t hesitate to ask the receptionist to escort me to him, fueled by the anger bubbling inside as I replay the absurd events in my mind.

She leads me to the table where Nathan is sitting with a guest. He spots me immediately. He stands up, shocked, no doubt wondering how I found out he’d be here. But the man sitting with him also stands when he sees Nathan’s stunned face.

And then, as if reality slaps me in the face, I feel the weight of my actions. This was a terrible idea. I can’t believe I didn’t consider this possibility. Now, I feel like a fool.

The man turns to face me, and the shock on his face mirrors the disbelief on both mine and Nathan’s faces.

That man is John Kauer. Even more handsome than that night, just like he’s been in my dreams these past few days.