1132 Book(s) Related to How I Became Immortal

In my past life, I squandered all my wealth to support my fiancée's family, but when the extreme heat of the apocalypse arrived, she and her lover broke my legs, brutally drained my marrow, and devoured me alive.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back in the seven days before the apocalypse.

This time, I will never repeat the same mistake.

I decisively kicked away these cold-blooded parasites, canceled all my credit cards, and, with the true love who died to save me in my past life, built an indestructible, top-tier temperature-controlled fortress.

As global temperatures soared, Los Angeles became a scorching inferno, and the fiancée's family couldn't even get a sip of dirty water, ultimately being forced to resort to cannibalism and killing each other.

And I, sitting in a 22-degree air-conditioned room eating chilled watermelon, coldly watch this bloody live broadcast of dogs fighting each other.

The fires of hell have been lit, and your judgment has only just begun.

In my previous life, my wife was addicted to black market gambling on football, which caused us to lose everything.
To make matters worse, a zombie horde then broke out.
We had no shelter and were quickly torn apart by a horde of frenzied zombies.
After being reborn, she planned to run off with all the money, then dump me and elope with her lover.
What she didn't know was that I had awakened the ability to read minds and knew all her plans.

To annul the engagement, the aloof heiress of a wealthy family spent three years planning thirteen accidents to try and kill me.
Car accident, falling object, poisoning... I survived covered in blood, only to be met with her disgusted question: "How come you're still alive?"
She let her scheming childhood sweetheart crush my father's ashes, and even personally drained my last remaining blood to save me, all for her sweetheart's self-inflicted injury.
She thought I would be like a dog, clinging to her side forever without any boundaries.
Until that day, I calmly handed over the annulment agreement, clutching the diagnosis of late-stage brain cancer, and completely disappeared from her world.
Later, when she finally found out the truth, she searched the world frantically, only to find my emaciated, cold corpse.
That arrogant and haughty young lady has completely collapsed.
She personally sent her childhood sweetheart to hell, knelt before my body wearing a veil, and desperately raised a gun:
“Ivan, walk slowly on your way to the underworld... I’m giving my life for you.”

I was reborn, back to the moment before I was dragged to death by motorcycles in the wasteland.

In my previous life, I listened to the moral blackmail of the saintly female lead Daisy and used my abilities to desperately save a motorcycle gang surrounded by zombies.

As a result, I was severely injured from ability overexertion, and these ungrateful wolves used me as a tool to establish dominance, dragging me to death with motorcycles across the wasteland.

Before I died, Daisy was still there crying: "We tried our best, this isn't our fault."

Now that I have a second chance, she stands before me again shouting:

"Cole! What are you standing there for? Go save them! Those people are going to die! You have abilities, you must save them!"

Looking at her hypocritical saintly face, rage burned in my chest.

Why should my abilities save ungrateful wolves? Why should my life be a stepping stone for others?

The kindness of fools is worthless!

So I threw her out to feed the zombies!

At a lavish dinner, a billionaire with a net worth of four billion embraced my ex-wife and slapped five thousand yuan in my face: "Kneel down, kiss her shoes, and then get out of here."
The entire audience of celebrities burst into laughter, while the ex-wife's eyes were filled with the pleasure of revenge.
Without even lifting my eyelids, I dialed a number in front of everyone: "I'm going to bankrupt one person. Execution level: nuclear bomb."
They laughed at me for pretending to be crazy.
Three minutes later, the entire nation was in an uproar. Four billion dollars in assets were frozen, the FBI broke down the door, and the once arrogant tycoon collapsed to the ground like a dog.
I endured for three years, just to save her grandfather's life. Since she's in such a hurry to break the contract, I don't need to pretend anymore.
This is not just a story about divorce; it's a countdown to the gods regaining control of the Book of Life and Death on Earth.

The global freeze descended, and the apocalypse arrived right on cue. I seized all the critical supplies and evacuated first, leaving "the perfect base" behind for the two traitors who backstabbed me. They thought it was heaven, but little did they know that the entire fortress was a precision trap constructed of deception, scarcity, and despair. As the outdoor temperature plummeted to minus eighty degrees, I sat by the window, roasting venison and watching them through high-definition infrared, coldly observing as they lost their humanity in the desperate fight for a single bowl of sawdust.

At fifteen, my parents died on their way of volunteer teaching in underprivileged areas. I was adopted by the Miller family’s Don, Vincent and was brought up by himself. For ten years, he hauled me out of the mud, gave me a home, gave me favor no one else got and taught me what a “family” was supposed to mean.
On my eighteenth birthday, I climbed onto his bed and kissed him.
He called me disgusting with a face like ice. Later, he brought Isabella home, forced me to be her bridesmaid, and made me go with her to pick out wedding dresses and jewelry.
One shove from her was all it took for him to lock me in a pitch-black confinement room and he even had the light removed.
That was when I finally understood: everything I had could be taken back from me at any moment.

My boyfriend pulled off a drone-sky proposal that lit up the entire city.
Crowds cheered, “Congratulations to Mr. Gunson and Mrs. Gunson—at last, true lovers become family.”
But the woman curled in his arms was his secretary.
The “me” in their mouths had long since turned to white bones beneath a mound of earth.

My wife and my best friend had been sleeping together behind my back for a long time. Once the apocalypse hit, they completely dropped the act. While I was still stressing over how we would survive, they threw me straight into a zombie horde—just to buy themselves a few seconds to escape.
Given a second chance at life, I chose to report the impending zombie outbreak to the government, securing my place as a top-tier protected asset for the nation.
But what I didn't expect was... my wife and best friend were reborn too.

On Day 100 of the global heat collapse, surface temperature climbed to a hopeless 70°C.

To keep my girlfriend from being roasted alive, I drove my ice ability past the limit and became her personal human air conditioner.

But when my ability core was on the verge of shattering and I collapsed coughing blood, she stole the last two bottles of water from my pack and climbed into someone else’s temperature-controlled car without looking back.

Before she left, she tossed the life-saving lump of ice I’d condensed with half my life onto the blistering asphalt like garbage.

“Jack, I’m sick of your cooling cutting out any second. I’m not staying here to die with you.”

She didn’t know—

The moment that ice turned into white vapor, the broken ability core in my chest—the one ruined because of her—evolved in the abyss.

I begged my mom for ten dollars, but she smashed my head with a frying pan instead.

The next day, my mother posted on a forum asking:
"Hi everyone. My eldest son lied about the end of the world just to get ten dollars. I want to ask, how can I sell him on the underground black market to pay off his younger brother's $20,000 debt?"

The moment I saw that post, any remaining love I had for them died instantly. I snapped my phone's SIM card in half.

What she didn’t know was that a world-ending acid flood would descend upon New York tomorrow.

I had begged so bitterly for that ten dollars just to trigger the Ten-Million-Fold Return System to build a three-billion-dollar Doomsday Ark.

Since she didn’t want it, I gave the throne of the Ark Queen to the female classmate who casually tossed me some charity.

I took the blame for my wife and went to jail, thinking I was protecting our family.

Five years later, when I was released from prison, my mansion was confiscated, my company fell into the hands of my younger brother, and the woman I loved with all my heart was nestled in my brother's arms, mocking my misfortune.

They had been having an affair for a long time, and even my imprisonment was a conspiracy meticulously planned by this despicable couple! What makes me even more furious is that my precious daughter was abandoned on the street like a stray dog, and subjected to beatings and bullying by their illegitimate son .

They thought that by draining my blood, they could forever condemn me to oblivion.

But they forgot that I was once an unparalleled genius in the business world.

Detective Lana Cross has paid her dues in the department. Raised in foster homes, beaten down by life, and hardened by trauma, she's clawed her way up in a system designed to keep her out. Her last big case catching Vincent Greaves, aka the Skull Artist should’ve earned her a promotion and peace of mind. Instead, it left her scarred and sidelined.

The Skull Artist’s crimes were beyond anything the city had seen: victims were killed, their skulls removed, and crime scenes turned into sickening “exhibits” abstract expressions made of flesh, bone, and blood. Greaves claimed it was all part of “revealing what lies beneath.” Lana caught him, barely, and the case was buried.

But now, just when she’s told her promotion is on the table, another body turns up displayed exactly like Greaves’ original work. Except Greaves is still locked in maximum security.

The case threatens to unravel everything she’s fought for. And as the press explodes and her department hesitates, Lana is told she can have her promotion… if she solves this new case.

I'm an ancient vampire prince who's been playing human boyfriend to a demon hunter.
Big mistake.
She's completely unhinged—GPS tracking, 24/7 surveillance, the works.
When she threatens to dump me unless I surrender all my secrets, I do the unthinkable:
I actually say yes.
Too bad she doesn't know her "helpless" boyfriend has been the one keeping her alive all this time.

In my last life, my parents favored my younger brother. They promised him to the angel who would remain on the surface, and shoved me to an abyssal demon.
When the apocalypse came, the angel burned through her divine power and fell. I took my family in out of kindness, and they repaid me with a bowl of poisoned soup.
When I opened my eyes again, our whole family had reincarnated.
This time, my parents couldn’t wait to push my brother into the demon’s arms, dreaming of living off him inside the abyssal lair.
I watched them sign the shadow contract like they were grabbing a priceless treasure, then took the rejected holy-light angel without hesitation.
They had no idea the Abyss’s shelter is paid for in flesh and blood.
But an angel’s loyalty can raise an iron divine kingdom that never falls, even in this world-ending flood.

The Wizards of Hoods was a schools for talented beings, even humans attended. But soon the humans saw magic as a old stuffs, they found a new God just like the Wizards would say,technology. The humans believed so much in their technology that they killed witches and any one with special powers.
They believed ones you special you become a treat to the society. But if you can find your way to the school you get trained on how to use your power.
Soon the shadow’s returned with a partner, the worst enemy of the Wizards of Hoods. The attack started from the Home of the Hoods, Rivers. The shadows preyed on their people while the Wizards were busy with their nightmare, the Lord of Darkness.
Hood Kripson a young trainee in the school, saw it like an action film in real life, the punches flying and body flying all over. But neither did he know that the faith of the people would soon be on him and his friends.
When the Wizards saw their was no way to win the war, they decided to lock their self in with the demons while their people ran to the human world that does not accept being with powers. But they were ambushed at night and only few made it to the human world with the help of Hood Kripson.
Hood Kripson made it to the human world in half, he was damaged and dying, he could survived but he thought he would just lead the shadows to the peaceful world. But in less than few seconds, he felt a power surge hit him, and then he knew it happened, the Wizards of Hoods were down and now it was left to him so he did the same.

Bethany Wayne is a simple twenty four year old nurse at a junior high school. Like every other person at her age, she is desperate to find a mate. She hopes that they will be simple, loving and understanding. She hopes that they will accept her and fulfill her dreams of having a happily ever after.

Not long after her twenty fourth birthday, her mate finally makes an appearance.
What she doesn't expect is her mate is The Carson Gray. The richest, most eligible bachelor in town and the epitome of beauty. And worst of all, The Carson Gray is a brother to one of the students at the junior high school and one of the new school board members.

To avoid the unnecessary chaos, she seeks help of an old friend who helps her mask her scent in case she runs into Carson unexpectedly.
It seems to work for a while and as she and Carson keep running into each other in pretty unpleasant encounters, she realizes that she made the right decision. There is no way Carson Gray is capable of being her dream mate. He is arrogant, cold, heartless and narcissistic.

The medicine seems to mask Bethany's scent for a while until it's a birthday party of one of Carson's and Bethany's mutual friends. She forgets all about the medicine and goes swimming, and the water successfully wipes off all the scent- masking medicine.

Carson obviously finds out and to say that he is angry is an understatement.
He wants to know why Bethany denied him a chance of being his fated mate. He wants to know why Bethany thinks the worst of him. He has so many questions which Bethany answers in all honesty.

She tells him how irritating he is, how much of a showoff.

There’s nothing more exciting than fate, nothing more desirable than forbidden love and nothing more consuming than the burning desire of a lover.

First daughter and pride of the Blue Hive, Clarissa Mark was a blessed girl loved by her father and every member of her pack.

Brought up in a happy home, she had everything she wanted and people who would do anything to provide what she needed. She was confident about her future and to make it more exciting, she found love.

A lover so passionate that he ignited feelings she couldn’t process and it made her feel like she was on top of the world.

The only problem was the man responsible for making Clarissa lose all her reasoning.

Clarissa believed she knew everything about her new lover, Gabriel Lance. She knew He was off bounds, being the heir of the rival pack- Blood Moon but she couldn’t listen to her head. She saw a good in him no one else saw and was determined he was not like everyone in her pack claims.

He was different, a charmer and a passionate mate and he loved her with all his heart.

She was so positive of his love for her but everything changed when she came back from her one month vacation, pregnant and mated to the one person she should never have had something to do with.

Her father, who loved her more than anything was willing to accept her back as long as she got rid of the forbidden child which she blatantly refused to.

Clarissa left the pack she knew as her home as she couldn’t bare to loose the child and her father couldn’t bare to raise such a shame and damnation in his house.

"Daddy... so cold... and it hurts..." When my precious daughter Mia whispered these words in her weak voice, my heart felt like it was being torn apart.
The life-saving medicine was just ten meters away, but that damned anti-magic barrier had become an insurmountable chasm between life and death.
What made me even more furious was that the vampire guarding the gate not only extorted my life savings, but also demanded I kneel like a dog and lick his boots before he would open the door.
He didn't know that if the door stayed closed, it wouldn't just be my daughter who died—his son and mother would perish too!

We’ve been married for five years. Then, she got pregnant with someone else's child.
In front of everyone, she said: "Ethan doesn't want this baby. You've always wanted one, right? Fine, take it and raise it."
In that moment, I finally understood: she wasn’t incapable of loving someone—she simply never saw me as a human being.
I took off my wedding ring, left it on the tray, and bought a one-way ticket to the North. My family said I wouldn't survive in the frozen North; she said that without her, I was nothing.
Three years later, she tracked me down using the GPS hidden inside that ring. She pushed open the door to my attic room, finding only a note I’d left: "Don't look for me. We're square."

In their eyes, my wife Emma—an Ivy League tenured professor in biological sciences—is ruthless, rational, and obsessively clean.
For seven years, even when she washed her hands, she would only ever touch the right-side sink—hers.
Until that night at 3 a.m., when I pulled a strand of sandy-golden short curl—hair that belonged to neither of us—out of my men’s shower loofah.
And around the neck of a pre-med student named Lucas, I saw the antique silver cross my dying father left in my hands.
When I confronted her, my always-icy wife protected the little homewrecker, slapped me across the face, and called me a jealous, controlling chauvinist.
She thought I’d swallow it like a coward.
But she forgot: as a top cardiothoracic chief, the thing I do best is cutting out tumors.

In my past life, I personally dug up two alien meteorites, handing the blue one that granted "Frost Mastery" to my childhood friend, Mike. He repaid me by sealing me inside an ice wall, cursing me to "die like a piece of trash" in the minus 70-degree blizzard.
When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the initial blast site.
This time, I didn't even spare him a glance; I stuffed both meteorites into my pocket.
I transformed a missile silo into a doomsday bunker, brought my parents inside, and stockpiled ten years' worth of supplies.
When Mike arrived with a gang of thugs to smash my door down, I stood in the warm command center, watching half his face rot with frostbite on the monitor.
I didn't open the door.
This time, I am sending back the despair of my past life tenfold.

After I retired, I was willing to do the dirtiest work at a small auto repair shop—just to give my sick daughter an ordinary childhood.
I endured my mother’s insults, my eldest brother’s wage cuts, my younger brother’s extortion.
But they actually joined forces to steal my daughter’s life-saving money for gambling, then sold me into an illegal mine to pay off their debts.
When the iron chain locked around my wrist, when my daughter cried in despair, the killing intent that had slept in my blood for three years finally woke up completely.
They had no idea I was once the iron-blooded God of War—commander of a million troops, the name that made enemy nations tremble.

Starla and Luna, an inseparable pair of friends, decided to take a vacation to Seoul, South Korea. There, Starla accidentally met a charismatic Korean man named Kim Ha-neul. This encounter led to a connection between them, eventually leading to them becoming a couple.

As time passed, Starla, a novelist, became busy with various activities after her novel became a bestseller. Unfortunately, this happened when Kim Ha-neul visited London to meet her, resulting in them rarely seeing each other. However, Starla asked Luna to accompany Ha-neul and show him around London.

With the intention of helping her friend, Luna ended up falling in love with Starla's boyfriend. She realized that this feeling would hurt the woman she cared about, but on the other hand, it was challenging for her to dismiss this emotion.

How will the love relationship between Starla and Ha-neul unfold? Can Luna eventually sets aside her feelings for the sake of Starla? Follow their love triangle in the story titled "Starry Seoul"!

Two things matter in my captor’s twisted world of crime…Power and money.
He stole me to gain both.

He’s a coldhearted monster with a reputation for violence.
So how can his touch make me ache with such need?

I refuse his proposal of marriage, of course.
But Anthony Rodriguez didn’t break in to listen to reason.
He’s going to make me his mafia bride.

Whether I want to or not.

I’m the Russian Mafia princess who caught the eye of the enemy.

Being kidnapped is nothing but business.
My dad is going to hunt this ruthless animal down.

That’s what I should be rooting for…

I should hate Anthony Rodriguez.
But when the corded muscles of his tattooed arms pull me in,
I feel safer than I ever have.

He watches me through the security cameras 24/7.
I find power in giving him something to look at.

My entire life has been controlled by my dad. But he is a dangerous stranger in my bed, clamping a rough hand over my mouth and warning me to stay silent.

I don’t know why my father stole from the American mafia when he has everything. And my terrifying intruder doesn’t care about the reason.

He just wants to claim a debt from my quivering body. But under his command and sheets, I’m discovering a new strength. I’m becoming this man's undoing.

Despite being trapped, at his mercy, and stolen from my family…
I might never want to leave my place stationed under him.

‘Kidnapped by my ruthless fiance’ is an enemies-to-lovers, Stockholm syndrome, cartel mafia romance.

At the Morello family’s Christmas dinner, I stood beside Vincent, waiting for him to announce our engagement.
Instead, in the very next second, he walked in holding a little boy and claimed him as his son.
And the woman he said he was going to marry? Scarlett Morello. The one he had always introduced as his “sister.”
The whole room erupted in applause. I stood there frozen, like a nail hammered into the floor.
Later, in his study, he took my hand and said, “Scarlett is dying. Late-stage breast cancer. She only has six months left. After she’s gone, I’ll marry you.”
But there was no guilt in his eyes. No love, either.
Then he told me to go to his villa that afternoon, to take care of the woman who was supposedly “dying.”
I opened the photo he sent me. Scarlett was lying in a hospital bed, pale-faced, an IV in the back of her hand.
A professional tennis player who had been playing in an exhibition match three weeks ago, and who had dropped three grand at Louis Vuitton on Fifth Avenue just five days ago.
But sure. She was “dying.”
At three in the morning, I was curled up by the front door of my apartment, crying so long I lost track of time.
Then my phone lit up. A text from an unknown number:
[Elena, I’m downstairs. When we were kids, you told me that once I controlled the docks on the East Coast, you’d marry me. The docks are mine now. Does that promise still stand?]
I pulled back the curtain and there he was. Ethan Vitale, my first love, leaning against the door of a black Cadillac, lifting a hand in a lazy wave.
Three years ago, when he left New York, he was only a Capo.
Now, he was the Don of the Vitale family.
He didn’t rush me. Didn’t pressure me to come downstairs.
He came for one reason only, to let me know he was back.
I wiped away my tears and texted back:
[It still stands.]
Because I wanted to see for myself just how long that woman could keep up her act.

The day his fiancée returned his ring, his best friend was already holding her hand. His family signed the papers before the ink dried. His guild threw away his name like a receipt.
Ethan Cole was labeled F-Rank — the lowest of the low. Trash. Not worth a second glance.
They were right about one thing: no standard scanner could read his System.
Because the Primordial System doesn't show up on standard scanners.
Now Ethan mops floors in the same building where his enemies make decisions. He listens to conversations no one thinks he can hear. Every night, he descends alone into an unregistered dungeon beneath the city — hunting, growing, and waiting.
They discarded him.
They have no idea what they threw away.

[...] “Listen carefully to my words… If you want this pretty ass of yours to be marked by my fingers, you should be respectful and say only yes, sir.”
His other hand finally returns to my ass, but not in the way I’d like.
“I’m not going to repeat myself… do you understand?” Mr. Pollock asks, but he’s squeezing my throat, and I can’t answer him.
He’s stealing my breath, and all I can do is nod helplessly, listening to his sigh.
“What did I just say?” He squeezes a little tighter, making me gasp. “Hum?”
“Y- Yes, sir.” My voice comes out strangled while I rub myself against the bulge in his pants, making the chain of the clamp stretch and pinch my clit a little harder.
“Good girl.” [...]
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By day, Victoria is a successful manager known as the Iron Lady. By night, she's a submissive famous in the BDSM world for not liking to submit.
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With her boss's retirement, Victoria was confident she would be promoted. However, when his nephew is assigned the new CEO, her dream is shattered, and she's forced to work directly under the command of this arrogant, irresistibly seductive man…
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ㅤVictoria just didn't expect that her new boss also had another identity… A Dom known for teaching the way of a perfect submissive, and with no problem exposing his kinky side — unlike her, who had kept this secret by lock and key…
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ㅤAt least, that's what she's been doing all this time... until Abraham Pollock came into her life and put both of her worlds upside down.
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+18 READERS ONLY • BDSM

She wanted freedom...
They turned her into a weapon.

At the age of fifteen, Marina’s mother was murdered alongside the most powerful Don in the Sicilian mafia, before the wedding could even happen.
Now, almost six years later, just weeks before her 21st birthday, she’s ready to run.
From the rules.
From the blood.
From the Romano Famiglia—the only home she’s ever really known, and the cage she’s always wanted to escape.

But her “stepbrothers” have other plans.
Cesare, cold and calculating, the mafia’s right hand and loyal only to the throne.
And Matteo, the youngest, wild-eyed with a manic smile and a taste for blood.
They give her one job: seduce the enemy, earn his trust, and uncover what he’s hiding.
Her target? Enzo Bianchi, the second son of their enemy famiglia — a man as dangerous as he is captivating.

One deal.
One month.
One enemy to seduce.

But in the criminal underworld, playing with hearts always comes with a price.

And Marina is about to learn the hardest truth of all:
Freedom was never part of the plan.
Not when two demons guard the way out.

Ad Finem Fidelis.
Loyal until the end, even if she never had a choice.

I groan, leaning my body over his, resting my forehead against his shoulder.
“Ride me, Angel.” He commands, panting, guiding my hips.
“Put it in me, please…” I beg, biting his shoulder, trying to control the pleasurable sensation that's taking over my body more intensely than any orgasm I have felt alone. He's just rubbing his dick on me, and the sensation is better than any I've been able to provide on my own.
“Shut up.” He says hoarsely, digging his finger even harder into my hips, guiding the way I ride on his lap quickly, sliding my wet entrance and causing my clit to rub against his hard-on.
“Hah, Julian…” His name escapes with a loud moan, and he lifts my hips with extreme ease and pulls me down again, making a hollow sound that makes me bite my lips. I could feel how the tip of his dick dangerously met my entrance…

Angelee decides to free herself and do whatever she wants, including losing her virginity after catching her boyfriend of four years sleeping with her best friend in his apartment. But who could be the best choice, if not her father's best friend, a successful man and a convicted bachelor?

Julian is used to having flings and one-night stands. More than that, he has never been committed to anyone, or had his heart won over. And that would make him the best candidate… if he were willing to accept Angelee's request. However, she's determined to convince him, even if it means seducing him and messing with his head completely. … “Angelee?” He looks at me confused, maybe my expression is confused. But I just open my lips, saying slowly, “Julian, I want you to fuck me.”
Rating: 18+

Charlotte has been married to the love of her life for ten years, but living with him was nothing but misery.

When the patriarch of the Houghton family decided that his grandson would marry the last living Sinclair, Charlotte was happy. Her feelings for Christopher were thicker than blood and as deep as an obsession, so she held him tight and chained him to herself.

But there’s nothing Christopher Houghton hates more than his wife.

For all these years, they had hurt each other in a dance of love, hate, and revenge — until Charlotte had enough and ended it all.

On her deathbed, Charlotte swears that if she were given the chance to do things right, she would go back in time and divorce her husband.

This time, she’ll finally let Christopher go…
But will he allow it?


"My cock pulses again, and I take a sharp breath, feeling my innards twist with a strange desire that’s unknown to me.
Leaning against my room door, I feel the coolness of the wood through my shirt, but nothing can soothe this desire; each part of me shudders with the need for relief.
I look down, seeing the huge bulge marking the sweatpants...

“It can’t be…” I close my eyes tightly again and lean my head back against the door, “Hey, it’s Charlotte… why are you getting hard?”
She’s the woman I swore I’d never touch or love, the one who became a symbol of resentment for me. "